I should've known better...

I should've known better than to think I wouldn't be updating again until next Wednesday. We are at the hospital again...INPATIENT. Kaidan's temp was hanging out around 100 all day, never going over "the mark" of 100.3, but none the less, a temp for Kaidan. Around 3:00 it started to rise, and by 5:00 it was 101.7, so here we are!

I called the clinic and they tried to send us to the E.R., but I told them NO! I knew we would be admitted, because Kaidan's ANC was below 500 yesterday, so I didn't see any reason we needed to sit in the E.R. for 6 hours just to be moved up to the 4th floor. So, after a little persuasion they got us a room and just direct admitted us. Sure enough, Kaidan's counts have dropped even lower than yesterday. White blood count down from 1.8 to 1.0, hematocrit down from 38.5 to 32, platelets down from 299 to 204, ANC down from 300 to 200. Keep in mind that this is without any chemo for over a week. We need to find out what is causing these fevers and why her counts are having such a hard time recovering.

I'm feeling a little picked on and a lot stressed out! Nate's work isn't being as kind as they have been in the past. I feel like people sometimes forget that Kaidan still has cancer! Just because we started down this road almost 2 years ago, she still has cancer. Things aren't as rough as they were in the beginning, but she still has cancer. We are still doing treatment, and we are still walking on pins and needles every time we wait for test results. It will be that way for the rest of our lives. I feel blessed that we have a wonderful family and a huge support group, but it is so hard to not have one of us with the kids. We have worked really hard to keep me home as much as possible, and the boys are always with Nate or me. It's hard for others to understand how tough it is for the other kids when we are up at the hospital. For us to send them from place to place and leave them with people they aren't with that often only makes it more difficult. They feel left out and neglected. There is no way I could ever say that this experience hasn't had as big of an impact on all of them as it has on Kaidan. It is SO, SO hard for everyone.

Anyway, enough of my belly aching. I'm just feeling some uncomfortable feelings lately. You know, the camels back can only hold so much straw...

Until tomorrow...