Wednesday, October 7, 2009

big days ahead...

I figured it's probably about time I update this thing. I feel like I haven't done it in forever! That is a good thing! No news is almost always good news. You'll have to forgive me if this update is long and all over the place. When I haven't posted anything for a long time there seems to be a lot more to say :)

Things are going really well. Kaidan has been having her weekly blood draws and her labs are good. They have increased her chemo quite a bit, I think she's at about 75% on both medications, so with that her counts have gone down substantially, but they are still good for a cancer kid. She had an MRI to check the progression of AVN in her legs. The oncology clinic said that it's improving, but that was all they said, so I called her orthopedic doctor to have him take a look at them, but he said that PCMC had locked the images, so he wasn't able to look at them. I now have to call and have those released to me so that I can get his opinion on them. I just want to make sure they look good before we remove her central line. By the way, the date for that surgery is next Tuesday!! Can you believe it?? I am a little nervous that they might postpone it because she has come down with a nasty cough the last couple of days and it seems to be getting worse, but I'm hoping it will clear up and she'll be good to go. I just want it done!! I have such mixed emotions about the whole thing that I think the only way to get over it is to just get it over with. Our life will be so weird without the weekly blood draws or the monthly IV chemo and the yucky stuff that comes with that. We are excited and scared all at the same time.

School is going well for everyone. Both girls are doing plays this month, which they absolutely love. They are both born performers, so it's a lot of fun for them. Preslee is doing great at soccer, playing goalie a lot of the time, but doing great at any position they put her in. She's a very athletic girl, so she's having a blast. Kaidan is still dancing, but it's been tough for her. Her legs have had a hard time getting used to going all day at school, so dance has suffered because of that. She still loves every minute of it and she also wants to play soccer next season. Cash is doing great in preschool. He asked me if I knew where the number 5 was and I told him I didn't. He looked at me like I was stupid and told me it is at his school! He's having a great time and loving his new friends and I think he likes the independence that comes with growing up. Porter...what can I say... He finally has teeth, 4 of them to be exact. He looks like a jack-o-lantern. He talks ALL the time, we just don't have any idea what he is saying. If you look up "cutest kid ever" in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure there is a picture of Porter there.

Next week will be here so soon, and November 5th, which is Kaidan's last day of chemotherapy, will be here quickly after that. I can't even describe what I feel. I've been humbled lately by other families and their stories. I know how blessed we are. Things could be so different right now, things could be so much worse. I have read too many stories lately of children being that are now free from their disease, leaving their families here to sort through the emotions of sadness that they are gone, but happiness that they are no longer suffering. I've read stories of kids that are still fighting, living a life of chemo and blood draws and hospital stays. Many of them have spent so much time fighting to live that it's the only life they really know. Every story hits home. This journey is not over. We will live with the fear of the unknown (which is also a fear of what we do know, if that makes any sense). Most recently, I read an update about a girl named Meghan. I have been following her story for a long time. She was 4 years old when she was diagnosed with ALL. She completed her treatment and was in remission for over 2 years before she relapsed in Jan 2008. Just two days ago, while in the hospital for fevers and low blood counts, she found out she now has a secondary cancer, AML. I am so sad for her and her family. She has been through so much already and now will have to have a bone marrow transplant along with more chemo. We need to figure out a way to get more awareness for childhood cancer. September was childhood cancer month, but there isn't much support out there for it. We need to see GOLD everywhere. You can buy anything you want in pink...and I mean can we get that kind of support in GOLD??? The treatments kids endure are terrible-sometimes causing secondary cancers-if there was more awareness that would lead to more funding, more funding leads to more research, and that would lead to better treatments!! There has to be a way!!

Okay, I'm done. I just want everyone to know that we are excited, but we are scared. We know we are in a great place now, we know that we are blessed that Kaidan is here and healthy, but we are so, so scared for what the future holds. We live each day to the fullest, we love every minute we have together, we are happy. The emotions are just very overwhelming at times.

November 7th is the date for our big PARTY!! It will be an open house from 6-9 p.m. I will post location information closer to that time. I will be sending out invitations, but if you don't receive one that doesn't mean you aren't invited!! PLEASE COME!! I am doing my best to remember everyone, but I think of someone every day that I have forgotten, so I have realized that I'm sure I'll forget a few. Please know that if you are reading this, if you love Kaidan, if you want to celebrate this happy time with us, then YOU ARE INVITED!!
I'll update again after the big Tuesday, the 13th of October!!

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