Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Seriously...July is almost over???

Is time flying or what? It seems like every year goes by faster than the one before. I can't keep us this year. Cash is going to be 4 on Sunday!! Wow, it does not seem like it was that long ago when we couldn't hold him because he was in the NICU, in a little box to keep him warm, and all we could do was stick our hands in to touch him. I remember feeling so sad at the hospital because I was super lonely and I just wanted to hold my baby (he was at Primary's and I was recovering from the C-section at Alta View). So many emotions at that time...I thought things couldn't get any worse (there was nothing like going home from the hospital without a baby), but I was quickly reminded that they can always get worse...at least I knew he'd be coming home eventually...I remember seeing the little bald kids across the hall from the NICU and thinking how glad I was that this was ALL we were up there for. Nate and I talked about how grateful we were that Cash was getting better each day and that we would never be able to handle what those other families were going through......

Who could have guessed!! Who would have ever thought that only 9 short months later we'd be one of "those families"? But, look how far we've come - Cash is almost 4 and Kaidan is almost 9 months out of treatment! Amazing...

Cash is doing great! He's a PRO on his bike WITHOUT training wheels. He actually rode his bike all the way to my grandmas house last weekend (it was a tough ride - I barely made it). He wants everything that he sees on commercials and he loves to tease and torment Kaidan. He's growing up so, so fast. He loves to play outside, loves bugs, dirt, water, and all things BOY!! Such a little man!

Porter is doing well too. He has a vocabulary that constantly amazes me and his eyes can melt your heart! I had him into the doctor this week for an eye infection and he does NOT enjoy getting the eye drops, but other than that he is doing great. We're still working on the potty training, I'm not really pushing it, but hopefully he'll be out of diapers before I need to buy them again :)

Preslee is awesome as always! She will be starting 5th grade this year!! I can't believe she is getting so old - what does that say about my age? She's had one soccer tournament this summer - her team took 2nd place. They have a 4 v 4 tournament this weekend and the regular season will start the end of August. She loves it so much!! I'm so glad that she has something she is so passionate about in her life. I'm also very grateful for my sisters who keep her overnight on the days she has practice so I don't have to worry about getting her there! It's at 8 in the morning and we only have one car, so it has been a challenge working everything out, but luckily they help me on a daily basis!

Kaidan is doing well. We had her monthly check-up with the oncologist yesterday and it went fine. We had a little scare this month because she has not really been feeling well. She had a lot of random pain, especially in her head, she ran a low grade fever for several days with no cause, and she was having lots of tummy troubles again. I think I'm the only one who all of this scares, but can you blame me?? Her blood counts were good, her weight is not really increasing, but it is holding steady, and she's had a major height spurt, which is great! The doctor reassured me that she's okay, although I'm still nervous. I don't know if this will ever get easier. I am so constantly worried that there is something brewing in her little body. It's frustrating because Kaidan puts on a great show out in public. She perks up and bounces around like nothing is wrong. She looks great and all in all she IS doing great. But...at home she is overly tired, always dealing with some ache or pain, her tummy almost always bothers her, and she just generally doesn't feel good. I think she feels okay, but I don't know that she ever feels great. I just want her to feel FABULOUS, but that is taking so much longer than I expected. All in all she is doing well, progressing along and recovering from years of toxins being pumped into her little body. I am grateful for where we are and how far we have come.

Nate is doing well. He's recovered from his surgery and he is getting better (sort of) at wearing his CPAP. I imagine that it's extremely uncomfortable and definitely a nuisance, but I still wish he was more serious about it. We all worry about him and I know he'd feel better if he could wear it more consistently. So, I'll keep nagging him and I'm sure he'll keep getting mad at me, but hopefully within the next couple of weeks he'll get completely use to it and be wearing it regularly.

I'm doing good. I quit my job because of the stress it was putting on everyone, especially me. I spend time every day looking for jobs, and hopefully I can find something soon that will work for our family. We really need the extra income.

The ducky derby is coming up quick, so if you can, please sponsor a ducky...you could win $15,000 towards a new car...someone has to win! Also, please keep all the little kids battling right now in your thoughts and prayers. A few I'm thinking about often right now are JP, Devan, Millie, and Cami. It's not fair...no one should have to go through this...especially not a child. Also, Elliott's mama...she has had a few rough days dealing with her grief. Thank you...

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