I have so many things to update on and not nearly the time or energy to do it, but I really feel like I need to update, it's been almost 2 months!! I guess I really am not capable of keeping an up to date journal!

Time is flying by and lots of things have happened in our family, which I'll talk about in a minute. First and foremost, however, please take a moment in your days to think about all the families who have little ones struggling or who do not have their little ones to hold anymore and include them in your thoughts and prayers. Sadly, I am reminded on a daily basis that life is not fair, and things can change so very quickly. We have daily reminders that the only thing for certain is uncertainty. A single moment can change everything. So many families are facing difficult times and it's a harsh reality to be a part of.

Secondly, it's Make a Wish Foundation of Utah's ducky derby time again. Many of you who have donated in the past may have received a brochure for this years' derby...you may have opened the brochure and noticed a couple of amazing girls had their picture in it!! How cool is that!! Preslee and Kaidan on 35,000 brochures! Pretty neat stuff. Times are hard, but that doesn't stop life threatening illness from plaguing kids and their families. Please support the MAW foundation, even $5 helps, and of course, you could win the grand prize!! (This year it's $15,000 towards a new vehicle) Personally, I hope we win because we are in need of a new car-Nate's car quit on us and we are officially a one car family-it's NOT working out very well :) But, I will be happy for the winner, which most likely will not be us, but I'd love it if it were someone that we know! So please donate!! (I had trouble setting up a donation page tonight, but I'll get it done, so please search for Kaidan Sudbury and donate under her name. The link is on www.utah.wish.org, it just wasn't working tonight.)

Okay, on to news about us! I'll start with those of us who have had nothing too unusual going on. Porter is absolutely AWESOME!! I love that kid. He's just so mellow and fun to be around. He's a bruiser and I think he'll definitely be doing some serious sports as he grows up-he always has a ball of some sort that he is playing with and he can entertain himself FOREVER just by throwing a ball at the wall and picking it up and doing it again. And...tonight he pooped in the potty for the first time!! (sorry if that's too much info) He's just growing up way too fast!

Cash is pretty awesome as well, and I love him equally! He does create some havoc in my life though! He is going through his terrible twos (yes...he's almost 4)! He is such a handful, but then he'll bring me a dandelion that he picked just for me and he'll give me the sweetest kiss and say he loves me and I just LOVE HIM! Tonight we were working on riding his bike without training wheels-I cannot believe he is getting so big!!

Preslee is doing great. She's on a competition soccer team this year and she is SOOOO EXCITED! She will be the goalie, which she is AWESOME at and she loves! She is such a sweet girl, always helping with the boys and trying to do her best in everything she does. I just love her to pieces. I couldn't make it without all her help.

I am doing good, always tired, but good. I have started a night job to help make ends meet, and it's been a HUGE adjustment. I don't mind the work, but I do not like the job. It's been really tough, but I do have applications in elsewhere and hopefully something else with some benefits or perks will come up soon. I've been struggling for awhile with arthritis-like pain and occasional numbness in my arms and hands. The doctors I've seen have decided I probably have Lupus, but there is really no definitive test that says that is what it is-but that's what they are treating me for. Most of the time it's not a big deal, but I do have occasional flare ups that can be quite painful. For now it's mostly just a nuisance.

Kaidan is doing pretty good. Up until a few days ago I would've said she is doing great, but she came down with a bit of the stomach flu and hasn't been the same since. Needless to say, I am worried. Nate and Cash had something similar, but they were both over it in less than 24 hours. Kaidan is going on 5 days now. She's had a very upset tummy, along with fatigue and fevers. She did have her monthly check up with her pediatrician a few days ago and all was well. Her counts dropped a bit, so her white count was low at 4.7 (i think) and her ANC was 1800. Good counts, but not as good as they have been. She also lost 2 pounds, which is a concern. Hopefully she starts feeling better and I can get out of the "what if" mode. She is such a sweet girl and I just love her so much. She has been through so much, I feel awful that she still has to get these little bugs that seem to always be worse for her than they are for others. Kaidan has always kept little "collections" of things. Usually things that I would consider junk or trash-she has kept ALL (I think) of her hospital bracelets in a little basket in her room since she got sick in 2007 and she counted them the other day. She had 99! So, last week at her blood draw she got her 100th hospital bracelet...WOW!! She has to be one of the STRONGEST people I know, my HERO for sure. We have her follow up at the oncology clinic the end of July and I have some questions for them, but hopefully she is doing well, gaining weight, and her blood counts will have rebounded.

I don't even know where to begin with Nate! He had a small mole on his ear that I hadn't noticed in the past. His biological mother has quite a bit of melanoma in her family, so I told him he better get it checked. Finally, he did, and it turned out to be melanoma! It went quite deep down into his ear and the doctors were a little concerned that the cancer may have spread. So, they have removed 2 inches off his ear and 3 of his lymph nodes in the neck area. Luckily, everything came back clean so he is now just left with 2 different sized ears, a hefty scar behind his ear down to his neck, and a $12,000 hospital bill! (but NO CANCER, so we'll take it!!)He will have to be seen every 4 months for a full body scan to make sure he doesn't have any other growths pop up. CRAZY!! It was a scary couple of weeks, but we are SO HAPPY that it hadn't spread. In addition to the melanoma, after his surgery his sleep apnea problems really surfaced and he had some serious struggles with his oxygen saturations. He ended up overnight in the hospital and tonight he is back for another sleep study. They have told him that he has life-threatening sleep apnea that he MUST take seriously. Hopefully they can get him on the right CPAP and oxygen levels to keep him healthy, ALIVE, and get him feeling good. The poor guy deserves to know what a good night of sleep feels like! I'm really hoping they can help him. Our insurance company is giving us some problems, but what is new? I just would love to have it all fall into place and work out so that he gets the help he needs and it doesn't kill us financially, but we will do whatever it takes to get him healthy whether insurance helps or not. I want him to be around for many more years and the doctors have made it very clear that his situation will not allow that if he doesn't make some changes. It has been a scary time for all of us-I know the kids are worried about him not breathing while he sleeps, especially when I'm at work-so I hope they find some answers tonight to help relieve concerns that we all have had. By the way, I love Nate too! He's a pretty awesome guy when all is said and done! I couldn't have imagined what a great dad he would become 10 years ago, but man oh man!!! he is the best dad in the world! The kids adore him, he is so supportive of them all and so present in their lives-just an AWESOME guy!

I think that sums it up!! If you are still reading...WOW! That was very long-winded. I really will try harder to keep up with my journaling better. As always, thank you for your continued love and support for our family. We couldn't have traveled this bumpy, bumpy road alone. We love you guys all so much!