The Sudbury Family

Kaidan update!!!

2011-09-14T21:37:00.005-06:00

Sorry it took me so long to update - Kaidan has lots of needs :)

Surgery went well. She was really nervous about getting an IV, but it went smoothly and she was a champion - like always! The staff loved having her there because she is so cheerful and cute.

The surgery took about 2 1/2 hours. The doctor said her left ankle was worse than the right. She has 2 small incisions on her right ankle and 3 on her left. They removed loose cartilage and bone and drilled some holes to promote bleeding and new growth. Dr. Saltzman is a great guy and I felt like he had a genuine concern for Kaidan. He said this is a tough thing to treat. He said it's just not fair because her life has been so rough already and this is really going to be another hard thing for her.

As Kaidan woke up from the anesthesia, she was as cute as ever. The nurse asked her if she had brothers and sisters at home and she thought about it for a minute and then confidently told her NO. We were pretty surprised by that response! I guess she was living in a fantasy where she's an only child! She also told me that the last thing she remembers is falling asleep and then the doctor gave her a wedgie! I guess she was in and out of sleep when they scooted her down on the operating table, so her unders rode up. It was pretty funny!

The rest of the day yesterday went well. We got home, and you never would have known that Kaidan had surgery earlier the same day. She was alert and stayed awake most of the day. She was even rolling around in her wheelchair. She had been given morphine, oxycodone, and benedryl and she was still functioning! She obviously got her tolerance from someone else, because I would have been down for the count with any one of those drugs, let alone all three!

Last night and today have been a little more difficult. She's had more pain and she's slept more. She did get out for Preslee's soccer game (which was a win...GO IMPACT!!). She's in bed now and tomorrow we'll try to get her to put some weight on her feet for a minute or two.

I'll keep you posted! Thanks for caring!

Surgery time...

2011-09-12T14:46:00.003-06:00

Kaidan's foot surgery is scheduled for 8:00 tomorrow morning. It is scheduled to be a two hour surgery. I'll keep you posted when we get back home :)

double foot surgery...

2011-09-07T22:36:00.002-06:00

This will be very short and sweet, but I wanted to let you all know that Kaidan will be having surgery on her feet next Tuesday, Sept. 13th. We are really, REALLY hoping this will reduce some of her pain. It's outpatient, but she'll be home recovering for at least one week and then it will be about six weeks before a total recovery. I'll keep you posted.

So... it's been 3 months...

2011-08-29T09:51:00.026-06:00

I can't believe it's been 3 months since I have updated! Let me start by saying that my lack of updates does not mean that NOTHING has been going on! We have been busier than ever! I'm sure I will miss something - but I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet :) I'll let some pictures do most of the talking, but my computer is archaic and it doesn't cooperate most of the time - so forgive me for the quality of some of the pictures, I don't have the ability to edit them. Also, Preslee is not in many of our pictures :( That is not because I don't love her, it's just because she's never around! She is always at soccer or doing her own thing...she's growing up!

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Porter has started Preschool!! Yes, this means I have 4 hours a week with NO CHILDREN!! I'm slacking in the picture department, so I don't have any pics of him with his backpack :( Mom of the Year?!? I don't think so...

He also took a good tumble on his scooter and cracked his front tooth vertically up the middle. His nerve was exposed, and he was in a lot of pain. Unfortunately, the tooth couldn't be saved, so he had to have it pulled. He'll be toothless for several years now because my kids take forever to get teeth - he hadn't even had this tooth for a year yet!

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Cash graduated preschool and started Kindergarten today! Again...no picture of the first day of school and his graduation picture is super blurry :(

He also gave karate a try, but he lost interest after a week.

He had a birthday August 1st and he's now 5!! He's growing so fast!

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Preslee has turned 11, competed in a local soccer tournament (2nd place!) and a tournament in Colorado Springs (we learned how to lose at this one). She is really becoming an AMAZING goalie! It's a lot of fun to watch her progress. She is in 6th grade this year and growing up WAY TOO FAST!!

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Kaidan has had lots of happenings. She continues to struggle with GI issues and bone pain. We have seen a new GI doctor - who we LOVED!! - and we have a new plan to try, so we are hoping for great results with this. We also saw a new Orthopedic Doctor - who we LOVED!! - and Kaidan will be having surgery on both of her feet soon. She has necrosis (death of the bone) in every single bone in both feet :( This doctor was the first to be honest with us, and even though it wasn't what we wanted to hear, we are grateful that we can move forward. Hopefully we can help her to find some pain relief.

Kaidan participated in the Survivor Lap of the Draper Relay for Life.

She got special treatment at Hill Air Force Base - thanks to the Make a Wish Foundation!

She also started swimming lessons this summer and she was AMAZING!! She progressed through the levels very quickly and I think swimming is going to be her 'thing'! She was invited to try out for the non-competitive swim team on September 20th! She is so excited!!

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We had a busy summer, so here are a few of the things that we did...

4th of July! We spent time with cousins, saw a parade, and watched lots of fireworks. Cash was fascinated by fireworks this year.

We hosted a lemonade stand at Toys R Us to help promote their campaign for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation.

Kennecott Copper Mine (my mistake...the kids were bored out of their minds. apparently you don't appreciate this until you are older)

The kids went to Camp Hobe!! This was a fun year because in addition to the girls going to the week long kids camp, the boys were able to go to the day camp! It was a Monday and Tuesday day camp, so we were able to make a little get-a-way out of it. We stayed in Tooele with several other 'cancer moms' and their cancer cuties. It was so much fun! I didn't get many pictures of the girls because I just dropped them off for the week, but I managed to get a few of the boys. The top one is Porter, less than 5 minutes into our ride back to the hotel the first day. They wore him out!!

We participated in the Urban Challenge Utah for the Make a Wish Foundation! We did a bake sale to raise money and then my sister and her boyfriend did the challenges. It was AWESOME!! They earned points for dressing up, so we named their team the Grid Gladiators (because SLC is a grid map system). We had a blast following them around! Kaidan also talked a little about her wish experience. The kids had fun at the after party, playing some carnival games and getting soaked in the water at Gallivan Plaza - it was a hot day!

And finally, we attended SLC's first ever CureSearch for Childhood Cancer walk!! I was part of the planning committee for this walk and we worked so hard to make it a huge success. I think we succeeded! We raised over $72,000 dollars for childhood cancer research! This is something we will be participating in annually and I am so excited about it! Thank you to everyone who supported our family. It was an amazing day - from the support of our family and friends, to the balloon release for those who have passed on, to the medal ceremony, to the actual walk! It was a fantastic day. If you weren't there this year, I hope you'll make it in 2012. I promise you that it will touch your heart and it will be an event you can be proud to be a part of.

Kaidan received a champion medal - she is definitely a champion!

Many of our local cancer friends were in attendance. The stage was not big enough! That is both sad and happy for me. Sad that so many children have to battle this cowardly disease, but happy that so many are winning the battle!

Kaidan and Brielle!! Brielle has a form of leukemia called AML - she received a bone marrow transplant from her younger sister! How awesome is that?!?

So, there you have it! Summer 2011! I'll try to be better about keeping this updated, especially as Kaidan has her surgery and all of that. Thanks for keeping up with us :)

2011-06-03T01:52:00.001-06:00

Please walk with or donate to CureSearch in honor of Kaidan and all of her "cancer friends"... www.curesearchwalk.org/saltlakecity/kaidan

2011-06-03T00:07:00.000-06:00

I have sat down many times to update this blog, but I just can't seem to do it. It's been a rough few weeks for our local childhood cancer community, and my concerns and complaints are minuscule compared to what other families are dealing with. So, I'll update you all on the happenings of the Sudbury's another time, but for now, I am asking (actually...BEGGING!!!) you to support us on July 9th. CureSearch is holding their 1st walk in SLC and we NEED you to join our team! If you can't walk, please sign up as a virtual walker, or just make a donation to our team. Even $5 helps. www.curesearchwalk.org/kaidan

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re post:

As you may or may not know, CureSearch for Childhood Cancer is holding their first-ever walk in Salt Lake City!! This event is especially important to us because of our daughter Kaidan, who is our hero and a cancer survivor!

CureSearch is a non-profit organization that funds the lifesaving, collaborative research of the Children's Oncology Group (COG). The COG is the largest children's cancer research organization in the world!! They have over 6,000 physicians, nurses, and researchers at more than 200 hospitals in North America. 90% of children in the US with cancer are treated at COG hospitals.

Every year, more than 13,500 children and adolescents are diagnosed with cancer and more than 40,000 are undergoing treatment. Overall survival rates have increased in the last 40 years from 10% to 78%, but 1 in every 4 children still loses the battle with cancer. Cancer is the number one cause of death by disease in children.

Primary Children's Medical Center (PCMC) is a COG hospital. In 2010, between 170-180 kids were diagnosed with cancer at PCMC. That means that 3-4 families per week were given the same devastating news that we received on June 25, 2007 - they were told that their child had cancer.

You probably don't know that children with cancer are treated with chemotherapy drugs that were approved in the 50's, 60's, and 70's. We certainly did not know this before we became part of the childhood cancer world. The only thing that has changed is the doses that our kids receive! Children with cancer are given mega-doses of these toxic drugs - doses that an adult body could not handle. Our children are amazingly resilient, but even so, 3 out of 4 childhood cancer survivors will suffer long-term side effects - heart problems, neurological disorders, and even secondary cancers, just to name a few - from the chemotherapy that had to be given in order to save their life. Some of these effects are life-threatening. There has only been one new drug introduced for pediatric use since the 1980's - it is a drug for relapsed leukemia.

AWARENESS = FUNDING = RESEARCH = CURES!! Only research will cure cancer!

We would like to ask you to join our team for the walk in July. It would mean the world to us. Our goal is to spread the word about childhood cancer. We want CureSearch's name to be known in every household. We want CureSearch to be as well known as other foundations that have made an amazing impact on the adult cancer community, such as the American Cancer Society, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and Susan G. Komen.

The CureSearch walk will be held on July 9, 2011 at Liberty Park in SLC. This is a family walk, so we'd like you to have your entire family register! The cost is $10 for ages 16+, there is no fee for anyone under 15. Of course, we'd love your help with raising funds for childhood cancer research; however, our family goal this year is AWARENESS, so what is most important to us is that we have your support and that we have you on our team. If you are not able to walk, you can join as a virtual team member. If you prefer not to use credit card information online, you can join off-line - just send us an email and we'll get all the information to you. We also need sponsors, volunteers, and in-kind donations for food/beverage items and family friendly entertainment for the day of the walk. If you can help in any of these areas, please let us know.

You can join our team, donate, or find more information by visiting www.curesearchwalk.org/saltlakecity/kaidan. Our team name is TEAM AWESOME - in honor of AWESOME KAIDAN.

If you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate to call (801.205.2905) or email (mysteejsuds@q.com). Also, please forward this email on to anyone that you think would be interested in supporting us. We'd love to have youth groups, sports teams, and companies join us. Please join us, not just for our family, but for the entire Utah childhood cancer community - especially the children fighting this cowardly disease. Together, we can REACH THE DAY where we can guarantee every child a cure followed by a lifetime of health!

We have been consistently humbled by the outpouring of love and support our family has received since Kaidan's diagnosis in 2007 and we can't wait to share this event with all of you!

CureSearch for Childhood Cancer...

2011-04-16T00:45:00.000-06:00

As you may or may not know, CureSearch for Childhood Cancer is holding their first-ever walk in Salt Lake City!! This event is especially important to us because of our daughter Kaidan, who is our hero and a cancer survivor!

CureSearch is a non-profit organization that funds the lifesaving, collaborative research of the Children's Oncology Group (COG). The COG is the largest children's cancer research organization in the world!! They have over 6,000 physicians, nurses, and researchers at more than 200 hospitals in North America. 90% of children in the US with cancer are treated at COG hospitals.

Every year, more than 13,500 children and adolescents are diagnosed with cancer and more than 40,000 are undergoing treatment. Overall survival rates have increased in the last 40 years from 10% to 78%, but 1 in every 4 children still loses the battle with cancer. Cancer is the number one cause of death by disease in children.

Primary Children's Medical Center (PCMC) is a COG hospital. In 2010, between 170-180 kids were diagnosed with cancer at PCMC. That means that 3-4 families per week were given the same devastating news that we received on June 25, 2007 - they were told that their child had cancer.

You probably don't know that children with cancer are treated with chemotherapy drugs that were approved in the 50's, 60's, and 70's. We certainly did not know this before we became part of the childhood cancer world. The only thing that has changed is the doses that our kids receive! Children with cancer are given mega-doses of these toxic drugs - doses that an adult body could not handle. Our children are amazingly resilient, but even so, 3 out of 4 childhood cancer survivors will suffer long-term side effects - heart problems, neurological disorders, and even secondary cancers, just to name a few - from the chemotherapy that had to be given in order to save their life. Some of these effects are life-threatening. There has only been one new drug introduced for pediatric use since the 1980's - it is a drug for relapsed leukemia.

AWARENESS = FUNDING = RESEARCH = CURES!! Only research will cure cancer!

We would like to ask you to join our team for the walk in July. It would mean the world to us. Our goal is to spread the word about childhood cancer. We want CureSearch's name to be known in every household. We want CureSearch to be as well known as other foundations that have made an amazing impact on the adult cancer community, such as the American Cancer Society, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and Susan G. Komen.

The CureSearch walk will be held on July 9, 2011 at Liberty Park in SLC. This is a family walk, so we'd like you to have your entire family register! The cost is $10 for ages 16+, there is no fee for anyone under 15. Of course, we'd love your help with raising funds for childhood cancer research; however, our family goal this year is AWARENESS, so what is most important to us is that we have your support and that we have you on our team. If you are not able to walk, you can join as a virtual team member. If you prefer not to use credit card information online, you can join off-line - just send us an email and we'll get all the information to you. We also need sponsors, volunteers, and in-kind donations for food/beverage items and family friendly entertainment for the day of the walk. If you can help in any of these areas, please let us know.

You can join our team, donate, or find more information by visiting www.curesearchwalk.org/saltlakecity/kaidan. Our team name is TEAM AWESOME - in honor of AWESOME KAIDAN.

If you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate to call (801.205.2905) or email (mysteejsuds@q.com). Also, please forward this email on to anyone that you think would be interested in supporting us. We'd love to have youth groups, sports teams, and companies join us. Please join us, not just for our family, but for the entire Utah childhood cancer community - especially the children fighting this cowardly disease. Together, we can REACH THE DAY where we can guarantee every child a cure followed by a lifetime of health!

We have been consistently humbled by the outpouring of love and support our family has received since Kaidan's diagnosis in 2007 and we can't wait to share this event with all of you!

Love, Nate and Mystee Sudbury

my daily life...

2011-04-13T13:36:00.000-06:00

My daily life is OUT OF CONTROL!! I feel so ill-equipped right now. My time is completely consumed with driving everyone everywhere, phone calls to doctors/bill collectors, researching medical things on the internet, driving everyone everywhere, sitting at doctor appointments, and driving everyone everywhere! We seriously have about 2-3 doctor appointments a week between Nate and Kaidan and we only have one car, so I wake up in the morning and take Nate to work, then I take the girls to school, then I pick up whoever has an appointment and get them there, then I take them back to wherever they came from, then I pick up the girls from school, then Nate from work, then it's on to soccer practices and games....blah, blah, blah...don't even mention adding on the normal errands like the bank and grocery store. I once read a sign that said, "If I'm a stay at home mom, then why am I always in my car?" That is exactly how I'd describe my days the past few weeks, and I am not happy about it (neither is my bank account with gas prices right now)!

Anyway, enough whining...

Nate went in yesterday for his biopsy of the thyroid nodule. First, they did an ultrasound to get a better look at the nodule and it turns out that there are lots of them! This is entirely normal, most people have little cyst-like things on their thyroid. Luckily, after the long ultrasound and discussions between the radiologist and Nate's doctor, the decision was made to hold off on the biopsy. They decided that none of the nodules looked suspicious and he was okay to wait. They did, however, find another worrisome spot. It's most likely an enlarged lymph node near his collar bone. I have spoken with the doctor, and he reassured me that, even though Google is concerned, I don't need to be :) We will watch this "spot" and do another ultrasound in 6 months to make sure it isn't growing. They are also running some blood tests to check Nate's thyroid, parathyroid, calcium, cholesterol, etc, etc, etc... I'll keep you posted, but for now, he's good :)

Kaidan has not been doing well. She is in a lot of pain again, throughout her entire body. She is experiencing tons of pain in her ankles and knees, but she is also complaining of being very tired and "just not feeling right". Today, her entire body hurts - it's even painful to the touch, which is weird. She has not been to school all week. We had a good, long talk last night about all of this and it went a totally different direction than I thought it would. I told her that if she is in too much pain to go to school then she cannot play soccer anymore either. I explained that I want her to get better and feel good and that this was the only way that could happen. I thought she would say she's not going to quit soccer and she'll start going to school, but instead, she started crying and said she knows she needs to quit soccer. She said the pain is so bad that she will stop playing soccer - I feel so, so bad for her. At the same time, I feel completely incompetent. I don't know what to believe - does it hurt all the time, but she only tells us sometimes because she doesn't want to miss out on EVERYTHING, or does it really not hurt that bad and she only tells us when she doesn't want to do something? I really do believe her, you can see that she doesn't feel well. I really have no idea what to do. We are working on getting her in to see a rheumatologist and another doctor for her AVN, so hopefully we can get some answers. If she's still home from school tomorrow for pain she will be seeing her pediatrician - I'll keep you posted.

Join our team, TEAM AWESOME, for the 1st ever SLC CureSearch walk!! It's $10 to register and kids under 15 are free to register. We'd love to have a HUGE team of supporters, walking in honor of the Awesome Kaidan!!

results all around...

2011-04-08T14:39:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure what's going on with blogger. I really do know how to use paragraphs, but they just disappear when I publish the post. I'm sorry that makes it hard to read :)

Kaidan's orthopedic doctor FINALLY returned my calls and basically said that the MRI showed abnormalities in the bones, but nothing new and nothing that should be causing the increased pain. He suggested we give her Ibuprofen and let time take over. I told him we've been doing that for 3 years and something needs to change. I asked him if he was certain there wasn't leukemia lurking in there causing the pain - he said there isn't. He told me that he thinks the best thing at this point is to see another doctor and get a new set of eyes on it. So, we start over. I really would just let it all go, but I can't handle Kaidan being in pain all the time, so i won't. Also, the stomach issues seem better right now!!!

Nate's MRI went well. The 2 lumps they were looking at are called Lipomas and they are really nothing to be concerned about. Unfortunately, they inadvertently found a nodule on his thyroid and there is a 15% chance it is cancerous. He will be having a Fine Needle Biopsy done by ultrasound next week. I'm worried, because I think of when he had melanoma. Only 5% of skin cancers are melanoma - his was. So, while I know that 15% chance of cancer means 85% chance it's not...we had 95% chance it wasn't melanoma - and it was. Ahhh...I am so, so, so tired of living this life. It's exhausting.

That's it for now. I will soon be posting on our SLC CureSearch Walk (we'd love you to join our team - Team Awesome!!) - so keep watching for that.

kaidan's test results and Porter is 3!!!

2011-04-05T22:38:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to update with the results of Kaidan's tests. I'm a slacker :( FYI - this is a LONG post and I'm sorry :) As far as the abdominal x-ray, the GI doctor felt that Kaidan was backed up, so we did a colon cleanse this weekend. I am now treating her with a maintenance dose of Miralax to keep her cleaned out. However...it doesn't seem to have made a difference yet - tonight she was not feeling well at all. We may have to do the cleanse one more time, but we'll see how tomorrow goes. If she's not feeling better after a second cleanse and by the end of next week I am taking her back in - to a different GI - hopefully I can find one that doesn't have a 3 hour wait when you have an appointment! I think it's ridiculous that they have signs all over that if we are 15 minutes late we will have to reschedule, but they can be as late as they want! The orthopedic doctor has not called me back yet...another frustration I am working through right now. She had her MRI last Thursday, and I've had to track down the results myself and I really don't know what they mean, but I'm not liking what I think they mean. He is supposed to call me tomorrow to tell me what our next steps are - that is, if he has time after surgery. I am really disappointed in the response I'm getting from this doctor right now. I really, really hope he will call me tomorrow. Here is what the MRI report from the radiologist says: For the left ankle - Irregularity noted in the articular surface of the left talar dome, greater than on the right, with associated flattening of the talar dome, consistent with sequelae of previous avascular necrosis. ( Google has helped me to understand that this means the joint surface of her talus (the bone between your foot and leg) is irregular and it's worse than her right foot. It's also collapsed, consistent with previous AVN.) For her right ankle - Subtle residual heterogeneity of the bone marrow remains, with an undulating articular surface of the talar dome, likely secondary to remote osteonecrosis. (Google says heterogeneous means "composed of parts having dissimilar characteristics". So, I think this means that her bone marrow is messed up and the talus is also collapsed, but not as bad as the left. Undulating means "wavelike appearance", so the joint looks like a wave and is partially collapsed - but not completely.) There are other things in the report that I have googled and they are worrisome for me, but I don't know for sure what they mean, so we'll see what the doctor has to say and what our options are. Kaidan has good days and bad - the bad usually follow a day of activity, but she doesn't want to be left out of anything. We had a good talk today that she may have to sacrifice some things that she wants to do in order for her bones to heal - but it really isn't fair. It makes me mad that cancer is still taking things from her. Nate has also had some stuff going on the past couple of months. He's had a lump in his neck area that has gotten bigger and become more of a nuisance, as well as a lump between his neck and shoulder that is really causing him some discomfort. He has seen two different doctors and today he had an MRI of the two areas. We probably won't get the results until Friday. We are pretty sure that it's nothing serious, and the doctors feel the same way, but because he had the melanoma we have to be really careful. The lumps are in the neck and shoulder area, which is relatively close to his ear, where the melanoma was, so the doctors wanted to be sure they were not anything more sinister than tissue build up. I'm glad the doctors were proactive, because I would rather be safe than sorry. On a non-medical note... yes, we occasionally have events in our life that are not medically related :) ... PORTER TURNED 3!! He is growing up so fast and it's so crazy because he is our last baby. We no longer have to carry diapers with us or worry about bottles and feeding schedules. He has become such a little man. He is so stinkin' cute, which is a good thing because he has a temper! If he wasn't so cute he'd be a lot harder to deal with :) He used to be so mellow, but he's grown out of that the past few months - it makes me sad. For his birthday he wanted monster trucks, a race car, and a tiger cake. I, of course, didn't get any pictures (worst mom ever award!!) because I forgot my camera. My dad took some, so I'll have to get them from him to post. Since Porter is 3, I thought I'd put 3 things that we love about him on here, so we can remember. 1. He LOVES basketball shorts. Seriously...LOVES them!! He will not take them off. If he has to wear pants the shorts are under them, if we can convince him to do that - usually, he wears them over his pants. 2. He has the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes - with super long eyelashes that most girls would give anything for. 3. He drinks more in a day than most people do in a week! He cannot go to bed without 2 cups full of drink - otherwise we are waking up in the middle of the night for refills. Sometimes, even with 2 full cups, we have to do refills before morning. I have no idea how he wakes up dry. I'll try to get some recent pictures up soon!

Long, long day...

2011-03-30T09:44:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a really, really long day. We left the house at 8:45 and didn't get home until 4:30. And we only had 2 doctor appointments!!! As most of you know, Kaidan has been struggling forever with stomach issues, and we have met with the GI doctor several times. Yesterday we saw him again. We sat in the waiting room of the GI clinic for almost 2 hours!! I was so mad! Once we got into a room we waited another 30 minutes before he actually came in. Anyway, last time we saw him he thought Kaidan was constipated and I was very skeptical. The whole issue we have is with pooping too much and always having tummy pain. Today he stressed again that he thinks constipation is what is going on. He wanted to do a rectal exam and Kaidan absolutely refused, so we opted for an abdominal x-ray instead. We are looking to see if she is backed up in there. I haven't heard back from him yet with the results, but if she does have stool throughout her colon and intestines we will do a clean-out and see if that helps. If that is not the issue then we will go in for an endoscopy. After the GI appointment, we saw the orthopedic doctor for Kaidan's ankles. They are causing her so much grief. Don't get me wrong, she still does as much as she can - she's trying to play soccer and do recess, etc. - but she pays for it when she does these things. Anyway, the orthopedic doctor confirmed that, from x-rays, it looks like the AVN (avascular necrosis) is back in the ankles. This is not good news. We are going to have an MRI tomorrow to confirm this and then we'll discuss what our options are. Something has to be done. I told the doctor that I don't want to do anything outrageous, but I do not want Kaidan living in pain like this anymore. It's absolutely not right - he agreed. So, what have we learned? Well, cancer is a cowardly, vicious beast. It doesn't go away just because treatment is over. It tortures and torments the cancer patient and their family - physically and emotionally. Why should anyone have to endure this, especially children? Chemotherapy saves lives, but not without a price. It leaves a trail of destruction everywhere that it has gone. I am so thankful that Kaidan is alive. I know of so many other families that are going through things I couldn't even imagine, and I am humbled by that. But, that doesn't make it okay. I want Kaidan to live the life the doctors promised - why do they promise things they can't control? They gave us false hope that we would be done - November 2009 was the end...but, we will never be done - this will never end. Even if she does get relief from all of her aches and pains (which I will never stop working for, by the way), we will never stop wondering and worrying. I'll update again after we hear from these test results to keep you all posted.

DC report...

2011-03-25T12:42:00.000-06:00

I was going to write all about this, but Kristin did such a great job I just copied hers. So, here's all the info about our DC trip!!

We are back from our trip to Washington DC with CureSearch to advocate for childhood cancer. IT.WAS.AMAZING! I went with my friend and fellow cancer mom, Mystee. I'm so glad she came with me!! I couldn't possibly find the words to describe the experience, but I will do my best.
DAY ONE:

Wednesday afternoon we met for some training on the issues we were bringing to our representatives and on how to bring it to them. The first speaker was the President of CureSearch, John Lehr. He gave a basic intro of our speakers.
Next we heard from NBC Correspondent Chuck Todd. He talked to us a little about the issues and how to talk to our senators and congressmen.

Then we got to hear from the new president of the COG (Children's Oncology Group, a group of about 5000 pediatric oncologists that have bound together to share research. The are the worlds largest cooperative children's cancer research entity. Most pediatric oncologists in the US are part of the COG). Oh, he was incredible. He talked about what to say to convince them to fund pediatric cancer research (or rather NOT CUT the budget for the NCI, National Cancer Institute). I took notes because everything he said was noteworthy. Here are a few excerpts:
"Tell them before congress started funding NCI 1 in 10 children survived childhood cancer. The government got involved, and started funding research, and now they have a 3 in 4 chance of survival. We have this survival rate because people in these offices said 'we are going to invest! These are our children and we are going to invest!' And then ask them, do you have the courage to invest in our children?"

"We are curing our children with drugs from the 50's, 60's, and 70's. We have only improved our cure rates by giving more, not by discovering more. We push them to the brink. Most of them will experience toxicity at some point. This is unacceptable in the adult cancer world, why is it acceptable for children? Curing is not enough. They deserve a lifetime of health. They need new drugs that aren't as toxic. We have the tools for this, but we need the funding."
"How will history look back on this congress? By cutting back, our children will suffer."
I wish I had brought a tape recorder. He was really a great speaker.

Next we heard from Nancy Goodman, founder of Kids V Cancer. She was introducing the Creating Hope Act, one of the acts we are asking our representatives to cosponsor. It is basically an incentive for drug companies to create pediatric cancer drugs. Right now 60% of new drugs for adult cancers come from the private sector. Guess how many new drugs come from the private sector for pediatric cancer? Zero. There is no profit to be made because there aren't as many patients. If there is no profit, there is no incentive for drug companies to manufacture new drugs. We have only had one new drug for pediatric cancer since the beginning discoveries of chemotherapy. ONE!! Even that drug was in the 80's. So yeah, they need an incentive, and this act gives them that. It will give them a "golden ticket" if they manufacture and get FDA approval on a pediatric cancer drug, which they can sell (worth hundreds of millions of dollars) to a drug company that wants to get in the "fast pass" line for FDA approval on another drug. Pretty clever if you ask me.

We were also asking for a cosponsor on a survivorship act to deal with the issues of long term side effects kids deal with long after they beat cancer.

We then received some training from Soapbox Advocacy Training. He was great. He taught us how to share personal stories, and always get back to what we are asking for. He taught us how to talk effectively and get them to listen. It was very valuable training and worth every penny they paid for them, whatever that was! He had us cracking up laughing and learning at the same time. Very well done.

Later that evening we heard from a young man (can't find his name anywhere) who was diagnosed with cancer just after he had signed on to a college with a baseball scholarship. His dream was to become a pro-baseball player. His backup plan, dream #2, was to be a doctor. He never got to play pro baseball. He finished school, although it wasn't to be a doctor. He brought his chemo to class with him, pushed play on his tape recorder, and somehow went through his treatments and college at the same time. But being a doctor was out of the question, chemo and radiation does a lot to your body and mind. So he isn't the hero he had planned to be. No, he's a better one. He has a new dream. With the crushing of both of his dreams emerged a new one. A dream that no child would ever have to suffer from cancer again. Now that, my friends, is a dream. Why are our heroes baseball stars anyway? I wanted a picture with him the way you want a picture with someone famous. He's a hero.

DAY 2:
The shuttle bus took us down to Capitol Hill for our rally. We heard from our champion representatives who are leading the fight in congress for pediatric cancer. Both great speakers and men I admire very much. Congressmen Michael McCaul from Texas and Chris Van Hollen from Maryland. One Republican, one Democrat, united for this cause. Because do we really see party lines when it comes to the children of our country?

Next came the best part of the weekend. Nine year old Jack Rolle got up in front of all of us, alone on the stand, and talked about his experience with a brain tumor. We saw cancer from the eyes of a child, the fear, the pain, the suffering, the sickness, in his own words. There was not a dry eye in the room. And he was given an immediate standing ovation for his courage and bravery. That is who we are fighting for. The child who hears "you have cancer" and knows that means you might die. The child who goes in for brain surgery and is afraid because his mother can't come back with him. We are fighting for him, for all of them.

Next we were off to meetings with members. Their offices were incredibly busy with all that is going on right now, much more than last year, but we met with staff from Senator Hatch's office (LOVED her), Congressmen Chaffetz' office and Senator Mike Lee, who we were able to meet and talk with briefly.

Mystee had put together books with stories of 30 Utah kids who have battled or are battling cancer. Some survivors, some angels, and some fighters. We left a book with each of them, hoping they would take the time to look through and read some of them. We know it's an uphill battle, but if we don't ask, nobody will. And that would be a shame. So we'll keep asking until these kids get what they need. We both felt really good about how things went, and hopefully we will make some progress.

When it was over, we were exhausted and crashed at like 9. Except then we giggled and talked until 1am in our beds. It really was nice to be able to relax a little once it was all over.
So there you have it, another great trip to Washington DC!

where to start???

2011-03-22T22:57:00.000-06:00

I have SO MUCH to write about, I don't even know where to start! So...I'll start with the kids and go from there :)

Preslee has pneumonia...again...she seems to get it EVERY stinkin' year! I feel so bad for her, because she is miserable. She has been sick since Thursday, but started feeling better Sunday and Monday - but she woke up today with a fever again, so I took her in - I'm glad I did because she needed to be started on antibiotics.

Cash is good, although I'm sure he'll get sick eventually - he's the only one who hasn't been down with anything yet.

Porter is also good, but he did get RSV a few weeks ago. He was super sick for several days - and it was torture for all of us - especially at night! He's completely back to normal now, and he's just lucky he's so dang cute because he is hell on wheels ;)

Kaidan...where do I start with her?? She was having so many problems a month or so ago and then she came down with pneumonia, so that seemed to take over. Since then, she's done better, but she's still not 100%. She has seen the neurologist for her headaches - which just left me confused - we left that appointment with strict instructions to not treat her headaches with Ibuprofen more than 3 times a week, never to give her Oxycodone for them, and to not let her takes naps (which she still does daily...yes...she is 9). We also left with an anti-depressant, which is supposed to help headaches. I haven't given her that one yet though, because it makes me nervous. I also haven't made her stop taking naps...she's tired! I don't know what to do about all of that. Plus, you add all of the other aches and pains she has and it's virtually impossible not to treat her with Tylenol, Ibuprofen, and Oxycodone. I don't know what to do, so I'm just trying to make her ride it out without meds - but I'm torn because I don't feel like I should make her be in pain all the time. UGGH!!

We were able to get her some custom insoles and new shoes (thanks to Grandpa!!), so I'm hoping that her pain in the ankles and knees will start to go away. She has been complaining non-stop today about the backs of her knees again, so I really don't know if it has anything to do with the ankles or not. Her heels have really been bothering her as well.

She goes in tomorrow to see the cardiologist for some chest pains she keeps having. She will also have an echocardiogram. Next week she sees the GI doctor to follow up with all of "those" issues and then it will be time for her oncology check-up again. Whoever told us that we were "done with cancer" in November 2009 was insane. I have felt more stressed out the last 8 weeks than I have in a LONG time. I feel like I'm totally losing control...again...

I feel like I am bombarded daily with issues that I don't know how to handle. I don't know what to do when everybody is feeling crummy and as soon as one of them starts feeling better, someone else comes down with something. Add all of Kaidan's issues on top of that and I am going CRAZY! I'm not even kidding - I am seriously so overwhelmed. Is this normal?? Is it just how life is when you have 4 kids??

On an AMAZING note...I was able to go to Washington DC with Kristin, a friend and fellow cancer mom, last week for CureSearch's Childhood Cancer Awareness and Advocacy Days. It was so amazing and I just wish I could devote hours and hours of my life to this cause. I hope that one day there will be a cure for children with cancer - a cure that doesn't destroy their quality of life along the way. I really thought I'd feel like writing all about this tonight, but I'm too tired. I will update on Kaidan and the other kiddos later this week and then hopefully I can gather my thoughts on DC and tell you all about that as well!

Have a great week and thanks for listening to me whine!

spring...please come :)

2011-03-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

This will just be a quick update - I feel like I need about 10 more hours in the day - with my kids sleeping - just so I can accomplish part of my to do list...

Porter is doing so much better. I think when he tested positive for RSV we were at the worst of it, so it got quite a bit better a few days later. He still has a lingering cough, but I imagine that will last awhile.

Kaidan is not doing so well :( I feel so bad for her because she and Preslee just started a new school and she has only been able to attend 1 day! It seems like she has been sick or miserable from pain FOREVER!! It's been about 4 weeks since she has felt "good". I don't even consider her good as a great thing, but it's better than she has been this last month or so. She was running a pretty good fever for 8+ days, so I took her in to the pediatrician Friday night. They tested her for everything: strep, a UTI, the flu, etc. Everything was negative so we headed up to PCMC for a chest x-ray and blood work. Her chest x-ray showed the possible beginnings of pneumonia and her labs were all over the place, so she's now on 2 antibiotics to hopefully clear it all up. I'm hoping we caught it early enough that she'll make a quick recovery. She spiked a fever around 1:00 this morning, but she's been okay through the day today. If she's still fevering by tomorrow I'm supposed to take her back in :(

Of course, I have a twinge of anxiety going on because I didn't like that her hematocrit dropped almost 5 points from last week and her platelets were down almost 100 as well. Her white blood count went up a little, but it's still in the normal range. She also had many abnormal things on the differential (where they look at the blood cells). I can't remember all of them, but I know there was poikliocytosis, high neutrophils, bands, and a few others that were off. I know all of this can be easily explained by pneumonia, but unfortunately I also know what else could explain it. I am happy that she hasn't had a fever today and I'm optimistic that we'll make it through the night and all will be well. It's just a little of that "crazy cancer mom" seeping out. I worry about her - all the time - but especially when it seems like she's been sick forever - it's exhausting (physically and emotionally) to live this life. Sometimes I hate what cancer has done to my family.

Everyone else is healthy and I'm hoping it stays that way. I've sanitized and scrubbed and sanitized some more. I cannot wait for spring so that I can get the kids outside more and off the couch!

a quick update...

2011-03-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post a quick update to let everyone know how things are going.

Kaidan is doing okay. Porter ended up with RSV and he's been sick for a week and a half! Kaidan seems to have gotten it, so the other symptoms she's been having are difficult to separate from this sickness. She's been running a fever of 102-103 for 5 days now and she has a bit of a cough. She's still having a headache daily, but it may be from the fever? She's also on a steady dose of IB and Tylenol, so that is masking everything as well. I'm very worried about her, but I'm trying to minimize it and keep it to myself. She has needed Oxycodone for her ankle pain and headaches a couple of times - I hate that.

I'll update again after we get through this illness.

GOOD NEWS!!!

2011-02-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

Kaidan went in to the oncology clinic to have a lumbar puncture today. We were checking for relapse :( The ride to the hospital was tough. Kaidan did not want to go. She did not want to get an IV and she did not want to be put to sleep. You would think that after all she's been through it would make it easier, but it doesn't!! It makes it so much harder, because she remembers - she is older now - she knows the possibilities. She started crying that she was scared for the results. I felt so badly because my insecurities, my doubts and concerns had rubbed off on her. She was feeling scared because I let on that I was scared. I feel like my job as a mom is to keep those feelings secret, but I failed miserably as this week of pain went on and on. I guess it's a good thing I can't be fired from this job ;) We talked about both possibilities, and I told her that when we get good news she can dance around telling the world how dumb and crazy her mom is...that made her laugh.

Kaidan did awesome, as usual. She was so scared for the IV and she did do some dry heaving and almost fainted, but she is a trooper. Once it was done she was okay. She was scared to be put to sleep, but I reminded her if she falls asleep upset - she wakes up upset, and if she falls asleep calm - she wakes up calm. That did the trick and she did wonderfully. In fact, she woke up faster and more peacefully than she ever has.

It was so weird being back in that hallway of the RTU (rapid treatment unit) waiting for her to wake up. It was stressful waiting for the doctor to call me with the results. I had so many emotions going on. I wanted so badly to be wrong in my suspicions - but in the back of my mind (okay, every part of my mind) I was planning for the worst. Hoping for the best, but planning for the worst - sad, but true. I was figuring out finances, new time obligations, what we'd do with the kids so Nate could work while I was at the hospital with Kaidan, etc. It was a flood of memories that I wish I didn't have. It was so strange because at the same time I was feeling some survivor guilt. I was thinking about all the families who didn't get good news today. I was thinking about all of the kids who visit the RTU every week and their parents who wait in that hall, just like we did for so long. I was thinking that it was okay - if bad news for us took away bad news for one other family - that was okay. We've done it before and we can do it again.

But... we got good news!! The doctor called me and said her spinal fluid had no leukemia!! There were 2 white cells present, but they were normal white cells. I guess as long as you have less than 5 it's okay.

We still don't know where the pain is coming from. They gave her some morphine today because she started out with some pain and they wanted her to be more comfortable waking up. She felt so good with the help of that morphine that it made me realize that her pain is stronger than what she is letting on. We will follow-up with neurology the first part of March and I'm hoping for some answers.

We are getting mixed reports from the radiologists at PCMC and the orthopedic doctor that we see. Our doctor things Kaidan's x-rays are stable. He would like to see her if the pain sticks around, but I don't know what he'll do for her. I'm still struggling with the fact that this breakthrough pain came out of nowhere at the same time as the bad headaches. I'm afraid that if I let my guard down something bad will happen, but then I have to remind myself that cancer is not a stranger that sneaks into your house when you're not looking. Cancer makes your body it's home even if you're staring it in the face. So, I guess I'll relax a little, because that is all I can do. No amount of worry will change anything, right? I have to remember to live in the moment. That is easier said than done, but I'm trying.

I am so thankful for our good news today - it is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Please continue to keep the families who didn't get good news today in your thoughts and prayers. There is approximately 46 of them :( Did you know that? Did you know that an average of 46 kids per day are diagnosed with cancer? You should check out these amazing moms and the stories of their cancer warriors!

As a side note... For 2011 our family is going to be doing a couple of fundraisers for childhood cancer and the families affected by it. I wanted to give you some information now, because I know there are so many great causes out there and we can't possibly contribute to them all. I would just like you to consider these ones that are most important to our family, even if you can only pitch in a couple of dollars, it means the world to us :) Also, donating blood to ARUP - the sole blood provider for PCMC, and joining the bone marrow registry are awesome things that you can do to help save lives!!

So, here are the events we're planning on participating in for 2011. We don't have donation pages set up yet, but I'll keep you posted when we do. I just wanted to let you all know how you can help us this year - if you so desire :)

8/20/2011 We will be doing the Ducky Derby for the Make a Wish Foundation of Utah. We absolutely LOVE Make a Wish and this event!! This foundation has done so much for us, please help us by sponsoring a ducky when the time comes. We may do a couple of other events for Make a Wish, but I'll keep you posted. We love Make a Wish!!

7/9/2011 Salt Lake City is hosting it's 1st annual CureSearch Walk!! I cannot even tell you how excited I am about this. CureSearch dedicates over 95% of their funds directly to childhood cancer research. It is so important that more funding be directed to pediatric cancers to find a 100% cure, without harsh side effects. As soon as we get our fundraising page going, I'll let you know. We'll be looking for team members and sponsors :)

DATE?? HopeKids does an Adventure Walk that we are planning on participating in. We love HopeKids!! They have provided us with so many fun opportunities that we otherwise would not have been able to do. They do several events monthly ranging from movies to monster truck jams!! We love HopeKids, and especially their Utah directors, C.R. and Amy. They have been so kind to our family. We'd love your support when we do this event.

Thank you all! We love you!!

miss kaidan...

2011-02-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

I've been debating whether or not to update. I hate to write anything when I don't have clear answers, because I've been really stressed out and I don't want anyone else to have to worry. However, I finally decided I will post this because I'm not too fond of re-telling everyone the same thing over and over. Plus, I forget who I have told and then people get tired of re-hearing the same thing over and over ;)

Anyway, last Sunday Kaidan started complaining of pain in her ankles. I know she's had this for a long, long time, but this was different. She was really in a lot of pain. Then came the headaches...bad headaches. She was asking for pain meds. IB only took the edge off a little - tylenol didn't even touch it. She was also having bouts of nausea and stomach pain, so I started getting worried and on Monday I called her pediatrician who said there is a lot of strep going around and that can cause headaches and joint discomfort. I took her in on Tuesday, hoping it was a sinus infection, or strep, or anything that could be fixed with antibiotics that was making her head hurt, but it wasn't. She looked healthy as could be (other than her flushed cheeks and glossy eyes). The pediatrician recommended we go to Primary's and have a CT scan done as well as x-rays of her ankles and some blood work to check everything out. Wednesday we went up to the hospital for all of that. Everything came back normal, except the ankle x-rays. Her pediatrician said they were "abnormal and worrisome". She said she really isn't an expert in orthopedics, but the report said it looked like she it could be osteochondritis dissecans and they recommend getting an MRI done to further investigate.

Here's where the stress comes in. I fight with logical thinking and "crazy cancer mom" thinking all the time. Sometimes, I think the "crazy cancer mom" thinking is the logical one. Anyway, I'm hoping, really REALLY HOPING that the ankles are just osteochondritis dissecans because that can be fixed. I'm angry because her avascular necrosis never should have gotten bad enough to cause this, and if they had just listened to me in the beginning, it wouldn't have. But, you can't change the past, and ankles are just ankles. I mean, you only use them to hold your entire body up when you walk, so compared to cancer, it's a minor thing ;) There is that "crazy cancer mom" part of me that says: 1. Her MRI in November 2009 and her x-rays in November 2010 were all normal, and they all showed no AVN or improvement of the AVN. 2. Her headaches came on super strong at the same time as this ankle pain. 3. They are related and it's not good... Then, my "logical" thinking says: 1. Dumb doctors mis-read MRI's and x-rays all the time, they missed this. 2. The headaches are caused from a very minor sinus infection that is barely visible on a CT scan. 3. They are not related, she is fine.... Then, the "crazy cancer mom" starts again.... You get the picture, right? I have multiple personalities!!

We don't really know what is going on with Kaidan. She is better than she was last Sunday as far as the pain level. The headaches come and go. The ankle pain is pretty bad, but she is still getting around. She gets tired when doing silly things like mopping the floor or trying to dance. Her arms started hurting this morning. She's back to having a little appetite with a lot of tummy issues. Her eyes tell a story more than any words she could ever say; they are glossy and you can see her pain. I am scared out of my mind. I am trying so hard to be positive and believe it is nothing, but I can't help it, I am scared.

Her pediatrician called me tonight and said she finally got someone in oncology, but they completely dismissed her concerns. We want to have a lumbar puncture done just to make sure there aren't cancer cells lurking in her spinal fluid causing her headaches. But, oncology doesn't want to do that. They think it's a virus - oh how I hope it's a virus. I just don't understand why it's such a big deal to just be sure. Why can't they be proactive instead of reactive? Our pediatrician also tried to get in touch with Kaidan's orthopedic doctor, but she had no luck there, so I guess we will be waiting until Tuesday, unless things get worse. The pediatrician advised me to take Kaidan to the ER if her headaches or her ankles get worse over the long weekend. Otherwise, she will call me Monday after she tries again to get someone who will listen.

So, there's the story. I'll update again when we know more.

Happy New Year...

2011-01-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

I don't have too much to update on, not much going on around here, but here's a little update anyway.

We had a great Christmas and a happy New Years. The kids were lucky enough to get most of what they wanted and it's was still a lot of fun waiting with them and experiencing all of their anticipation. I've cleaned up all the decor and now it's on to organizing and spring cleaning in January.

As far as health, everyone is doing well. All the kids got sick the week leading up to Christmas, and of course it hit Kaidan again on Christmas Day. She came down with a whopping fever of 105 and was sick for 4 days. I think once you survive cancer you should be exempt from sickness on all holidays :)

Kaidan is still taking the laxative a couple times a week and the medicine they gave her for the painful spasms she was having seems to work so she takes that before every meal. We will go back to the GI doctor in February to follow-up. I'm still hoping they will do more tests because even though the medicine is helping, it doesn't explain why she's having the problems and if she doesn't take that medicine the pain is right back. I don't think the laxative is helping anything, so I don't think she is constipated and her H Pylori test was negative. Kaidan will also be getting some custom arch supports to help her ankles when we can afford the $250 cost that the insurance won't cover because they don't believe they are medically necessary. She is also going to see a therapist next week for her anxiety and they are going to work on some coping skills so Kaidan can enjoy her life the way she deserves. She has her next oncology check-up on the 17th.

Other than that it's just life. Plain old boring wonderful life. I love that we didn't have to go to the hospital on Christmas day for Kaidan's fevers, I love that her body is capable of healing itself, and I love that today all my kids are healthy and happy.

GI doctor and a haircut...

2010-12-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

Kaidan had her appointment with the GI doctor today. First, let me say that I like this doctor a lot. He sits down, talks to Kaidan and to me, and spends TONS of time with us. We've only seen him twice, but both times he spent over an hour talking to us! Second, let me say that he is a different nationality, and he definitely has some different mannerisms than I would like, but that isn't a bad thing - he's just a little "odd" to me. Third, let me say that I am really confused on what happened today - I'm not sure what I think about the next steps we are going to take.

The doctor decided that he thinks Kaidan's pain is caused from her extreme anxiety and that she is constipated. I know this is a private subject, but you are welcome to stop reading if you don't want to hear it. Now, I get that anxiety can cause stomach aches and other related issues - but Kaidan's "episodes" are not simple stomach aches. They are 20-30 minute time periods of excruciating pain. It's a horrible thing to witness. And I don't get the constipation thing at all. Kaidan has bowel movements several times daily, with no trouble, and they are bad. I mean, this girls is NOT backed up. We can't venture too far from a toilet EVER. So now he has prescribed a laxative and I'm thinking the next 2 weeks are going to be hell. Sorry for the word use, but seriously - we are giving this teeny, tiny girl who already can't go too far from a bathroom a laxative? Seems wrong to me. But...that being said...I am going to try it. I won't say that it can't get any worse, because I'm thinking it can, but we'll give it a go anyway. He felt something in her stomach, and he thinks it was backed up poop. I'm now thinking what if it's not? Oh boy...

So, the plan is to do another stool study to look for the H Pylori, start her on laxatives and eating more fiber (YIKES!!!), starting her on a prescription to help with what he called functioning pain (this is from the anxiety I guess), and follow up with him by phone in 3 weeks and in person in 3 months.

I guess this is a start. Now, on to the next problem ...neurology, dermatology, psychiatry, orthopedics...where to start, WHERE.TO.START! :)

On a side note... My mom gave my sisters and I all haircuts today and so I got myself a new do and had a full circle moment. I haven't had a haircut in over a year. I told the stylist I'd like it short, but not too short and we decided what length it would be. She said just a couple more inches and I could have donated to Locks of Love...so...I DID IT!! I chopped it all off and donated a hefty chunk of hair! So exciting - I've wanted to do that for a really long time, so I'm happy :)

Speaking of donating - wouldn't a great thing to do this month be to donate something you've got that someone else desperately needs? You would be so proud of yourself :) Join the national bone marrow registry or donate blood products at ARUP or your local red cross. Here's some information that I copied from some other blogs that I follow:

This Christmas, here's two relatively simple, FREE gifts you can give your fellow man:

1. Get registered in the bone marrow donor registry: http://www.marrow.org/JOIN/. There are many people who need a life-saving bone marrow transplant, but who don't have a match. Right now I know of at least 3 different families going through or getting ready for a bone marrow transplant - and that is just ones that I know, there are SO many others. YOU could be someones match. It takes about five minutes to get signed up. Get registered and give someone hope! Our friend Rachel was able to find a donor, can you imagine if she was saved because of YOUR marrow? What an amazing gift for everyone involved!
(I signed up a couple of years ago and I hope I get to be a match in my lifetime. Everytime I start worrying if it may be painful I just think of how many bone marrow biopsies Kaidan had. She never complained of anything more that a sore hip for a couple of days. If she can do it - so can I, and so can you!!)

2. Donate blood at your local Red Cross or ARUP. A single platelet donation can provide enough platelets for a full therapeutic dose for a patient in need. In fact, some platelet donations yield enough platelets for two or three therapeutic doses. By contrast, it takes about five whole blood donations to produce a single therapeutic dose. Many patients who need platelets are undergoing chemotherapy or organ transplant and have weakened immune systems. A platelet dose from a single donor reduces the patient’s exposure to multiple donors and is therefore preferred by many physicians. During a platelet donation, a small portion of your blood (less than one pint at a time), is drawn from your arm and passed through a sophisticated cell-separating machine. The machine collects the platelets and safely returns the remaining blood components, along with some saline, back to you. After the donation you can resume your normal activities, avoiding heavy lifting or strenuous exercise that day. According to the American Red Cross: every two seconds, someone in the US needs blood. Kaidan had over 40 blood and platelet transfusions during her treatment. And there's millions of other cases where people need blood. It is life-saving, our cancer buddy Skyler needs platelet transfusions daily.

Some Facts About Blood Supply Needs and Blood Donation -from the American Red Cross
•One donation can save the lives of up to three people.
•The demand for blood transfusions is growing faster than donations.
•Shortages of all blood types usually occur during the summer and winter holidays.
•Less than 38% of the US population is eligible to donate blood. (So if you can, you can see that you're sorely needed!)
•It is possible to donate specifically only platelets or plasma. This process is called apherisis.
•Donated platelets must be used within 5 days of collection - new donations are constantly needed.
•Healthy bone marrow makes a constant supply of red cells, plasma, and platelets. The body will replenish the elements given during a blood donation - some in a matter of hours, and others in a matter of weeks.
•The average adult has about 10 to 12 pints of blood in his body. Roughly 1 pint is given during a donation.
•The average red blood cell transfusion is approximately 3 pints.
•A healthy donor may donate red blood cells every 56 days.
•A healthy donor may donate platelets as few as 3 days apart, but a maximum of 24 times a year.
You must be at least 17 years old, weigh at least 110 pounds, and be in good general health to donate. (Eligibility requirements may vary in some states and donation centers.)Please, if you possibly can, get out and donate this holiday season.
It's one of the best gifts you can give.
This Christmas, GIVE LIFE!

**feel free to copy and paste this post onto your blog (I DID!)

December check-up for Kaidan...

2010-12-07T16:12:00.000-07:00

Kaidan's blood work all came back good yesterday. She is growing and has finally hit the 20th percentile in weight!!! Her height is average for her age, but she is definitely a skinny mini. Everything looked great at her check-up, but we have a hefty line-up of specialists to get her in to see in the next little while...and I was hoping that 2011 would be the year that we'd finally not have medical bills...yeah right!

She needs to see a dermatologist for her many, many warts (this all started from her compromised immune system while on cancer treatment), a cardiologist for her continuing chest pain (her echo last month was normal, but the doctor wants a stress test done because she continues to have chest pain that radiates down her arm and it is usually associated with activity), an orthopedist for her ankles (her avascular necrosis was improved as of her last MRI in 2009, but her ankles roll inward and it's getting worse and not better, so it needs to be fixed before it's a huge problem - which it will be if we don't do anything), and a therapist for her anxiety (Kaidan is so uptight about everything. She can't even have fun with us because she is always worried about crazy things, so the doctor would like her to learn some coping skills now, rather than later. I also have quite a large family history of depression and anxiety, so it's better to get this under control now). She also has an appointment with GI Thursday (I am going to demand a scope because nothing wrong is showing up looking from the outside in, so it's time we look from the inside out. We will also be talking about removing her gallbladder) and a neurology appointment on the 15th (this is for headaches that seem to be getting somewhat better, but it takes months to get in to them, so I will be keeping this appointment and asking them if they have any ideas what could be causing the headaches she does get).

And we thought this all ended when she completed treatment in 2009... have I ever mentioned that I hate cancer?

Happy Birthday Kaidan...

2010-12-03T23:40:00.000-07:00

Wow!! Kaidan turned 9 today! She is growing up too fast.

I have to look back on the day she was born. It was December 3rd (obviously) and I wasn't due until December 21st. I had my regular check-up and my doctor told me I was in labor and already dilated to a 5... The rest is obvious. She was born at 8:08 p.m. and she weighed 6 pounds 3 ounces. (I wish I had pictures, but I'm too tired to find them and scan them in - but I can promise you she was super cute!!)

I can remember her 1st birthday. She had a twinkle in her eye from the time she was a baby and you just knew she was up to something. She's always been a little (okay...a LOT) on the mischievous side :)

I remember her 6th birthday. She was in the middle of the toughest round of chemo in her treatment - but she still had that twinkle and was always smiling. She never had a bad attitude about anything she had to do - I wish I could say the same for me.

Today, she is a super happy, mostly healthy 9 year old. She's finally gaining back a little weight and she getting taller by the minute. I am so grateful for today - so, so grateful for Kaidan. There are so many times she drives me to the end of my rope and I get so frustrated with her teasing her brothers, but she is a huge blessing in my life and I love her with all my heart. Life would not be the same without her and all her spunky-ness in our family.

She will have her oncology check up on Monday. We will check her blood counts and see how she's doing. I had a few moments of anger toward cancer today when Kaidan told me that her body just hurts everywhere. She said it starts in her chest and goes down her arms and back up to her head. Her legs hurt, her stomach hurts, everything hurts. I really don't think she even knows what "feeling good" feels like. It's not fair - she is doing so great and looking so healthy, but cancer has robbed her of so much. It makes me mad, sad, and every other emotion in between. But, I am quickly reminded that it could be worse and I really am grateful for Kaidan's life. She is a survivor...a 9 year old cancer survivor. Today, we are the luckiest people in the world.

Happy birthday Kaidan! I hope all of your wishes come true!

thanksgiving 2010...

2010-11-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

We had a fabulous Thanksgiving weekend in not-so-sunny and definitely-not-warm Las Vegas! We headed down on Thursday morning for a soccer tournament with Preslee. This was her first-ever out of state tournament and she did fabulous!! She is so much fun to watch.

Preslee played 4 games - they had 1 win, 1 tie, and 2 losses. The team played really well and all the games were really close, so we are very proud of her and the entire team. It was a lot of fun.

We hit the storm on the way home, which made for a LONG drive, and the car trouble we had in Nephi didn't help either, but we are all home, safe and sound.

I am thankful this year for many things, but mostly for my little family. I am so happy that my kids are all healthy and that I got to celebrate another holiday with them. We are truly blessed.

Please send lots of prayers up for Crystal and Skyler tonight. Skyler is having surgery tomorrow to remove his spleen and Crystal is a scared mom. She needs our love and support. I cannot even imagine what the last several months have been like for her, but she is absolutely amazing. And there are no words to describe Skyler! He has to be the strongest boy I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He is definitely a super hero to us. www.crystalandskyler.blogspot.com

I hope you all had a happy, healthy, safe Thanksgiving. We are truly thankful for each of you and the support that you continue to give our family.

ONE YEAR OFF TREATMENT...really??

2010-11-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

Wow! Yesterday Kaidan had her monthly oncology check-up, and it was her one year off treatment check-up, so they did extra blood tests, an echocardiogram, and a couple other tests. Everything looked really good, so for the next 6 months she only has to be seen every 6 weeks instead of every 4.

I can't really say that it feels like we've been done with chemo for a whole year. Some days it feels like we are still in the middle of it because of the side effects she struggles with, other days it seems like it's been forever since we were there. Either way, I'm happy that she's doing well and living a mostly normal life - she definitely deserves it.

Everyone else is doing well. Nate is recovering nicely and has gone back to work, my knee is almost back to normal, and Cash's hip complaints are few and far between. Preslee is getting geared up for a soccer tournament in Vegas over Thanksgiving and Porter has hit the terrible twos :)

Tonight I got to chat with some other cancer moms who have become great friends to me. Please keep all their little ones in your thoughts and prayers as they are all in different stages of treatment.

Halloween and Nate's surgery...

2010-11-04T23:00:00.000-06:00

Lots has happened since my last post, so I'll do my best to recap without rambling.

Cash is doing much better. He's still complaining of the hip pain, but it's becoming more and more rare. His glands are still swollen and he's still having lots of tummy aches, but a million things could be the cause of that, so I'll try not to worry about the ONE thing that caused it with Kaidan. He is loving school too, which is nice - I'm enjoying the 9 hours a week I have with just Porter. Porter is doing great, he's usually asleep during the 9 hours a week that he's alone with me, which makes it nice too :) The girls are both doing well too. Kaidan starts her doctor appointments in 2 weeks for her 1 year post treatment and everything. She's got her labs, echo, and clinic in November and then in December she will see the GI doctor and the neurologist within a week of each other, and then have her 9 year check-up combined with her monthly cancer check all before the holidays. Something is telling me that time is going to fly and Christmas will be here WAY TOO SOON!

The kids had a lot of fun this year for Halloween. Cash was Paul Bunyan and Porter was Babe, his blue ox. They were really cute, but Porter hated his costume and it was a challenge to convince him to wear it. Preslee and Kaidan had more costumes this year than I care to admit, but they had fun. Originally, and for their school parade, Kaidan was the Twister board game and Preslee was Pippi Longstocking. For other parties Kaidan was a mummy and a clown and Preslee was a zombie (which I missed getting a picture of somehow?). The rain made trick-or-treating a little hard, but Preslee had a good time with her friends and Nate took the other 3 out to his sisters and they had fun with their cousins. He said Porter preferred to sit in the wagon and have others fill his bag for him - smart boy, already learning that eating the candy is much more fun than collecting it! We did pumpkin carving and clam chowder the week of Halloween too, but I didn't even get a picture of everyone with their pumpkins...what kind of a mother am I?? (my apologies for the random spacing of these pictures. i'm too tired to fix it.)

My knee is recovering well. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow morning and then I'm sure physical therapy will start full force...I'm so excited ;) I'm out of the brace now though, which is fabulous!

Nate is not doing so well at the moment, but hopefully his recovery will be speedy. I'm typing this from the hospital as I listen to his oxygen machine and other random things beeping. He had quite a surgery: his deviated septum was shaved and fixed, something was done with his sinuses, he had his tonsils, adenoids, and uvula removed, and then they drilled a hole in the bottom of his jaw and did something funky with his tongue, so he's got a 3 inch incision along his chin area. This is all an attempt to help with his SEVERE sleep apnea and hopefully save his life. I hope it works. Right now he needs to be able to keep his oxygen saturations higher without assistance, swallow food/water/medicine, and get the drain from his incision removed. Hopefully we'll go home tomorrow, but it may be Saturday. He was really nervous about the surgery and he's still struggling, poor guy, he doesn't want me to leave his side. It's been a rough couple of days. Tonight the boys and I are camping out here....should be interesting!

That's about it with us Sudbury's. Thanks for reading, I think I rambled....

Sudbury happenings...

2010-10-21T21:19:00.000-06:00

Sorry it has taken me so long to update on this week's doctor appointments. I'm a slacker.

Cash's blood work was all great, but his ultrasound did show some fluid around his right hip. It's called toxic synovitis, but that name makes it sound much worse than it is. Basically we have to wait it out. We are treating him with Motrin twice a day and hopefully it's better by within a week or two. The doctor said it usually lasts about a month, but he's already been dealing with it for at least two weeks.

Kaidan missed her doctor appointment because I haven't figured out how to clone myself yet and I was dealing with Cash, but her blood counts look great and she has a full work up next month, so I figured she'd be okay. Next month she will be ONE YEAR OFF TREATMENT!! She will be having an echocardiogram to look for any possible damage from the chemo to her heart, seeing the GI doctor for her stomach issues, a neurologist for her headaches, and she will have her normal blood work and clinic visit. Sounds fun, right??

Everyone else is doing well. I will keep you all posted.

Please pray for Skyler and his mom Crystal http://crystalandskyler.blogspot.com/ .

monthly check-up and hip pain...

2010-10-19T00:32:00.000-06:00

Kaidan has her monthly check-up this afternoon. She had her blood work done yesterday and I don't have the exact results, but I did talk with her doctor for a minute and she said it looked great.

Also, Cash is having more blood work done today and an ultrasound on his hip. He's still complaining almost daily of pain and the past 2 days he's been in tears about it. In fact, yesterday afternoon he was playing the Wii and he just started bawling and wouldn't walk. I gave him tylenol and a heat pack and he fell asleep, but even in his sleep he kept waking up and crying out to me.

Preslee started an antibiotic Friday for a possible sinus infection. She has had this dry cough for over 2 weeks now and the antibiotic was a last ditch attempt to try to get rid of it. She has no other symptoms, but the cough keeps her up at night and you can tell it's wearing her down. Anyway, the medicine doesn't seem to be helping, so she may be visiting the doctor again today as well.

I am recovering from my knee surgery quite well. I started physical therapy today and it went well. I'm sure it will just get worse and worse though...I hate physical therapy. It is nice to get my leg out of the brace and stretch it out a little. The goal is to get rid of the swelling and be able to bend to 90 degrees within the next 2 weeks. The physical therapist is a little concerned because I have some strange swelling below my knee that just popped up. It doesn't appear to be a blood clot, but it is a concern, so I'm watching it closely.

What else...I think that about sums us up right now. We are kind of a mess around here, but we are functioning. I finally got my house cleaned today, that felt so good. Nate did a great job of trying to keep up on stuff while I was down, but he doesn't do things like toilets and mopping unless he absolutely has to, so the house was in need of a good cleaning. I felt relieved to get that done, now I just need to find time (and money) to sit down and pay bills. Ugh.

Nate's surgery is fast approaching. He had a second opinion today and the doctor recommended the same things as his original doctor did, so I guess it's a go for sure now. He is really nervous. He's getting his sinuses/tonsils/adenoids/deviated septum/etc. all worked on - so it's quite an intense surgery. He's scheduled the first week of November for that.

I'll update again tonight about today's doctor visits. I hope you all have a great day.

Cash's bloodwork looks great!!!

2010-10-08T15:44:00.000-06:00

All of Cash's blood work came back normal. He is doing well, except for the occasional complaint that his hip is hurting. The doctor said to bring him back in if he's still complaining next week. We are very grateful that he is healthy and that his blood work showed no abnormalities.

Please keep the families of Devan Lore and Thomas Musser in your thoughts and prayers, both of these boys entered heaven recently. Also, please pray for Grant Olsen and his family. He is in the maintenance phase of his treatment and has not been feeling well for quite some time. His doctors just confirmed relapse. Closer to home is cute Erin, she has been at PCMC for 22 days and is dealing with some pain, cellulitis, and her ANC has been 0 for most of those 22 days. Her mom has such a strong testimony and you can just feel her faith in her blog updates. Also at PCMC, Skyler and his mom Crystal. Skyler has been in the hospital for almost 2 months, in the PICU most of that time. Please keep all of these kids and their families in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you.

Many of you know I had knee surgery Wednesday. The surgery went well and I'm home recovering. It's been tough, because I hate not being able to get up and move around, but I'm in a lot more pain than I expected. I'm hoping that I'll start feeling better before the weekend is over. Thank you all for checking in on us. I'll keep you posted on Cash's leg. We love you all!

2010-10-05T23:10:00.000-06:00

oh my gosh, what if...

2010-10-05T22:17:00.000-06:00

Today has been a rough day for me...really rough...an on the edge, ready to cry day. For those of you who know me, that's a pretty bad day. I don't cry very often at all.

Here's the story...

Cash has been complaining of leg pain since early last week. The first day was pretty bad, he wouldn't hardly walk. But, as time went on, he seemed better - only complaining periodically. By Friday he was still complaining off and on and Nate thought I should take him to the doctor. (Secretly I felt that way since the first day, but I really have been trying to minimize my thoughts when they start with "oh my gosh, what if...") Anyway, I decided we'd get through the weekend and see how he did. By Monday he was still complaining, so today I called and made him an appointment. I felt somewhat stupid because he is still playing and running around and it's really just sporadically that he complains. But, there I was, sitting in the doctor's office as she's checking him out - I'm telling her how dumb I feel. Then she asks him if his throat hurts...he says no. She tells me his lymph nodes are swollen. I am not kidding - my heart hit the floor. Suddenly my mind is RACING - swollen lymph nodes, random leg pain, more tired than usual, random nausea...

You see where I'm coming from, especially if you are part of the cancer world, right? I was freaking out inside. She ran a strep test and I was praying for it to be positive, but...NO. So she says we really need to have his hips xrayed, just to make sure...and I may as well get some blood tests done while I'm up there, you know, just to make sure...

Well, here we are at the end of the day, not all of his labs are back, but his CBC is and it's normal. His xray was fine. I do have to say that Cash was so brave! He did not want to get his blood drawn, but when it came time to do it he was such a strong, little man! Not a single tear! (is that how you spell tear? it looks weird) Anyway, the rest of the lab results should be back by tomorrow or Thursday, but so far so good! I cannot even explain the relief I am feeling right now; oh wait, now he's telling us his back hurts...real bad, and his leg is still bugging him, and his glands are still swollen! (This is where I let out a HUGE sigh....) I am so done with this being my life. I want aches and pains to be growing pains, I want a cold to be a cold, a bloody nose to be because it was picked, an extra nap to be because of a long day of playing, I want a fever to be a simple virus, a stomach ache to be because you ate your dessert too fast; you get the picture. But that will never be our life again. I try, I really do. We minimize most of the complaints that our kids give, because they usually are all those "normal" things, but in the back of our minds there is always that voice saying "oh my gosh, what if...."

The day wasn't all bad, we did get to go to the pumpkin patch with my grandma and some cousins after we were done at the hospital - that was fun, even though the trip started with Kaidan in the outhouse, crying that she just wanted to go home because her stomach pain was absolutely unbearable, but after a few minutes she felt better. (Here is another HUGE sigh...)

So, a good ending to a bad day.... I am thankful for that, so I'll stop complaining now :)
I really am grateful for all the good things, but I am going to be honest, there are days I wish so much that this wasn't our lot in life. I would love to be "normal", but I'm pretty sure I'm slightly psychotic and I think I'm going to blame childhood cancer for that.

another long winded post....sorry :)

2010-09-23T22:28:00.000-06:00

Kaidan had her monthly check-up this week and it went well - her blood counts look good, she looks great, and I think the doctors are pleased. For me, it's been a rough couple of weeks as far as Kaidan goes. Her tummy pain is getting worse and worse - you should have seen her tonight. It's unreal and heartbreaking to watch the wave of pain come over her. She can be fine one second and the next she has intense pain, so bad that she can't stand to have anything around her waist so she'll use her hands to pull the waistband of her pants and unders out. It is so sad. The other day I almost took her to the ER because she couldn't stand the pain, but then it goes away, almost as quickly as it came. I feel like the doctors don't really believe that it's this bad, because of course, they don't ever see these episodes. We have been in contact with the GI doctor and I am hoping we get something figured out soon - most likely it will involve removing her gallbladder. We were leaving that as a last resort, but I think we're there.

She has also been having some pretty bad headaches. They come on about the same as the tummy pain, very suddenly, but she usually needs tylenol, an ice pack, and a nap to get rid of them. We have an appointment with a neurologist in December - that was the soonest they could see her :( but I'm keeping a log of her headaches until that time, so hopefully they will be able to see that I'm not making it up.

I can understand why it's so hard for them to believe me - Kaidan has always put on a real good show for the docs. I can remember when she had the flu in 2008, fever over 105 and she was sitting up in bed making melt beads. I remember the doctors and nurses saying she looked way too good for a kiddo with the flu, let alone a kid with the flu in the middle of cancer treatment!

Anyway, I'm just hoping they can get it all figured out. I want her to feel good. Of course, I get nervous. I try hard to talk myself out of "that thought"... but, it's a daily challenge, especially when she has these episodes. I read an article the other day that 90% of kids with t-cell ALL go into remission, but at least 30% of those kids will relapse. That is hard to hear, especially because t-cell relapses are in the spinal fluid a lot of the time and one symptom of that is...headaches...ugghh! I don't feel that Kaid is in that situation right now - I think these effects are just remnants of 3 years of poison being pumped into her little body - but there is a fine line between being optomistic and realistic and I'm constantly bouncing around both sides of that line.

September is CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH! I am so excited because this is the first year that I have seen and heard so much about it! (I'm sad because I wish we didn't need a childhood cancer awareness month, but excited that word is getting out because we do need one, whether we like it or not) This Saturday I know of a bake sale for Cookies for Kids Cancer (1500 E. 1300 S. SLC) and a lemonade stand honoring Millie for Alex's Lemonade Stand (2345 E. Lambourne Ave. SLC). SO COOL! If you have a chance Saturday, visit one or the other (or both!) of these - not only to support childhood cancer research, but also to support the families that are doing the fundraiser. From our experience, I can say that I know it is soooooo important for families to feel supported when they do things like this (I really cannot stress the SO enough).

Thanks for listening to me ramble, as usual. I need to update more often to make these posts more reader friendly!! I do just want to finish with a couple of requests. I know a lot of you have prayed for our family, maybe you still do, but if you could add a couple of families to your thoughts and prayers I would really appreciate it. Devan and Chase. Both boys are fighting for their lives - lives that have been robbed by cancer. Please pray for comfort for them and their families. Also, please pray for Mrs. Bull and her family. Thank you.

a side note about the rest of us Sudbury's...

Nate will be having surgery in November for his sinuses/tonsils/and anything else you can think of in his mouth/nose area. He will be down for 10-14 days and it sounds like a horrible surgery. Sorry Nate, but I'm glad it's you and not me ;)

I will be having surgery October 6th for my knee, which I dislocated again last week. They will be fixing me up with a cadaver ligament...thank you young healthy person for donating your ligament to me :) P.S. Be an organ/tissue donor!! You never know what someone may need.

Preslee is sluffing school for soccer tomorrow - she's pretty excited about that...am I a good mom or what?

Cash had a rough day, he had to get a shot at the doctor and got his hand stuck in an elevator door. On a good note, he is growing like crazy - he has gone from my little premie in the NICU to a strapping 4 year old boy! He's in the 70th percentile in weight and 85th percentile in height!! Can you believe that?

Porter hasn't done anything to crazy to write about these last few weeks, but he's terrific anyway! He is just too cute. He has been running a fever for the last 2 nights, no other symptoms, just a fever. The pediatrician told me today that rosiola is going around - I guess we'll find out in a day or two if that is the cause of his fever because with rosiola you have a fever for a few days and then you get a rash when the fever breaks. Kaidan had it when she was a baby.

Thanks for checking in....

school days and childhood cancer awareness month!!!

2010-09-06T22:33:00.000-06:00

Man, oh man! I am horrible at keeping this journaling thing up. Life seems to be flying by, which isn't all bad I suppose.

First off...HopeKids...an awesome foundation! They provide activities all year long for us to look forward to. We will be doing an adventure walk and 5K next Saturday, helping them raise money so they can continue providing all the fun stuff for Utah's Hope Kids and their families. Please visit our fundraising page www.firstgiving.com/mysteesudbury and donate a couple of dollars. We'd really appreciate your support.

Second...September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. So many activities will be taking place to raise awareness for childhood cancers. I challenge all of you to learn more about childhood cancer. Spread the word, one day we need gold to be as prevalent as pink! Check out some of these links:

http://www.46mommas.com/ - 46 moms shaving for the brave to benefit http://www.stbaldricks.org/
http://www.curechildhoodcancer.ning.com/
http://www.cookiesforkidscancer.org/
www.glad.com/gladtogive
http://www.goldthenewpink.net/

We are all doing pretty well. It's nice to have been able to enjoy a "normal" summer. Even though we didn't take any vacations or do anything out of the ordinary, we had a summer with no chemo, few doctor appointments, and no inpatient hospital stays. It's been 3 years since we've had that!! I can so vividly remember June 25, 2007 - it's forever etched in my brain - it was the beginning of a summer I wouldn't wish on anyone. Our summer is ending this week - Cash starts preschool tomorrow and the girls will start 3rd and 5th grade on Thursday! I will have 3 hours a day, 3 days a week with just Porter. He'll be bored out of his mind for sure!

Nate is doing well. He's recovered from his melanoma surgery and will probably be having a surgery on his tonsils/sinuses/etc. in the next couple of months. Hopefully he'll recover quickly and it will help him breathe better and give him some relief with his sleep apnea.

I'm doing great. I just had a little surgery that "officially" marks our family as complete - a bittersweet decision that we decided to make. It will be nice to move on in life and see how things change as we go from diapers to homework, but it's sad at the same time.

Preslee is doing great and loving soccer. She has played 3 games this season so far, 2 wins and 1 tie. She's the goalie for her team and both of their wins were shut-outs! I think she's pretty excited about school starting too, although it's hard to tell for sure because she doesn't say very much. She spends a lot of time in her room, listening to music and reading. I wonder often how the last 3 years has affected her. It's hard to know if she's just growing up, becoming a young lady - or if there are underlying issues. Time will tell I'm sure.

Kaidan is doing well, but still struggling with stomach issues, as always. We will be running more tests this week to see if there is anything else we can do. She has also caught a bug of some sort this in the last few days. She's been running a fever and had a cough. Hopefully it passes before school Thursday. I have felt so much better about her future the past couple of weeks. I don't know what the change is, but I've just found myself worrying less about her health. I doubt the underlying fear of the unknown will ever go away, but hopefully it continues to minimize as the months pass. She has been off treatment for 10 months now! I cannot believe it has been that long!

Cash is doing great. He's becoming quite the young man. I can't believe he's starting preschool and kindergarten is just next year! Time flies! I think he's having a growth spurt right now, because he is constantly hungry. I'm starting to worry about how I'm going to afford to feed two growing boys - they already eat us out of house and home (I'm not sure what that even means)! He is a sweet boy, most of the time ;)

Porter is growing up too. We're still working on the potty training, but he's a pro on Cash's old bike with training wheels. He's become quite the daddy's boy this month too! He seems to have more personality everyday and he's quickly learning to become a tease...just like the rest of them! (With the exception of Preslee, all the kids love to tease...Nate, where did they learn this?)

Thanks for checking up on us. We are still so grateful for all of your love and support over the last 3+ years. Please keep loving us and including all families with suffering kids in your thoughts and prayers. Specific kiddos I'm thinking of now are Chase, Devan, Shea, JP, Nikki, Carson K, Carson M, Millie, Cami, and Jadon. It's too many kids! Please help us raise awareness...CHILDHOOD CANCER IS NOT RARE!!

Seriously...July is almost over???

2010-07-28T09:17:00.000-06:00

Is time flying or what? It seems like every year goes by faster than the one before. I can't keep us this year. Cash is going to be 4 on Sunday!! Wow, it does not seem like it was that long ago when we couldn't hold him because he was in the NICU, in a little box to keep him warm, and all we could do was stick our hands in to touch him. I remember feeling so sad at the hospital because I was super lonely and I just wanted to hold my baby (he was at Primary's and I was recovering from the C-section at Alta View). So many emotions at that time...I thought things couldn't get any worse (there was nothing like going home from the hospital without a baby), but I was quickly reminded that they can always get worse...at least I knew he'd be coming home eventually...I remember seeing the little bald kids across the hall from the NICU and thinking how glad I was that this was ALL we were up there for. Nate and I talked about how grateful we were that Cash was getting better each day and that we would never be able to handle what those other families were going through......

Who could have guessed!! Who would have ever thought that only 9 short months later we'd be one of "those families"? But, look how far we've come - Cash is almost 4 and Kaidan is almost 9 months out of treatment! Amazing...

Cash is doing great! He's a PRO on his bike WITHOUT training wheels. He actually rode his bike all the way to my grandmas house last weekend (it was a tough ride - I barely made it). He wants everything that he sees on commercials and he loves to tease and torment Kaidan. He's growing up so, so fast. He loves to play outside, loves bugs, dirt, water, and all things BOY!! Such a little man!

Porter is doing well too. He has a vocabulary that constantly amazes me and his eyes can melt your heart! I had him into the doctor this week for an eye infection and he does NOT enjoy getting the eye drops, but other than that he is doing great. We're still working on the potty training, I'm not really pushing it, but hopefully he'll be out of diapers before I need to buy them again :)

Preslee is awesome as always! She will be starting 5th grade this year!! I can't believe she is getting so old - what does that say about my age? She's had one soccer tournament this summer - her team took 2nd place. They have a 4 v 4 tournament this weekend and the regular season will start the end of August. She loves it so much!! I'm so glad that she has something she is so passionate about in her life. I'm also very grateful for my sisters who keep her overnight on the days she has practice so I don't have to worry about getting her there! It's at 8 in the morning and we only have one car, so it has been a challenge working everything out, but luckily they help me on a daily basis!

Kaidan is doing well. We had her monthly check-up with the oncologist yesterday and it went fine. We had a little scare this month because she has not really been feeling well. She had a lot of random pain, especially in her head, she ran a low grade fever for several days with no cause, and she was having lots of tummy troubles again. I think I'm the only one who all of this scares, but can you blame me?? Her blood counts were good, her weight is not really increasing, but it is holding steady, and she's had a major height spurt, which is great! The doctor reassured me that she's okay, although I'm still nervous. I don't know if this will ever get easier. I am so constantly worried that there is something brewing in her little body. It's frustrating because Kaidan puts on a great show out in public. She perks up and bounces around like nothing is wrong. She looks great and all in all she IS doing great. But...at home she is overly tired, always dealing with some ache or pain, her tummy almost always bothers her, and she just generally doesn't feel good. I think she feels okay, but I don't know that she ever feels great. I just want her to feel FABULOUS, but that is taking so much longer than I expected. All in all she is doing well, progressing along and recovering from years of toxins being pumped into her little body. I am grateful for where we are and how far we have come.

Nate is doing well. He's recovered from his surgery and he is getting better (sort of) at wearing his CPAP. I imagine that it's extremely uncomfortable and definitely a nuisance, but I still wish he was more serious about it. We all worry about him and I know he'd feel better if he could wear it more consistently. So, I'll keep nagging him and I'm sure he'll keep getting mad at me, but hopefully within the next couple of weeks he'll get completely use to it and be wearing it regularly.

I'm doing good. I quit my job because of the stress it was putting on everyone, especially me. I spend time every day looking for jobs, and hopefully I can find something soon that will work for our family. We really need the extra income.

The ducky derby is coming up quick, so if you can, please sponsor a ducky...you could win $15,000 towards a new car...someone has to win! Also, please keep all the little kids battling right now in your thoughts and prayers. A few I'm thinking about often right now are JP, Devan, Millie, and Cami. It's not fair...no one should have to go through this...especially not a child. Also, Elliott's mama...she has had a few rough days dealing with her grief. Thank you...

2010-06-30T23:45:00.000-06:00

I have so many things to update on and not nearly the time or energy to do it, but I really feel like I need to update, it's been almost 2 months!! I guess I really am not capable of keeping an up to date journal!

Time is flying by and lots of things have happened in our family, which I'll talk about in a minute. First and foremost, however, please take a moment in your days to think about all the families who have little ones struggling or who do not have their little ones to hold anymore and include them in your thoughts and prayers. Sadly, I am reminded on a daily basis that life is not fair, and things can change so very quickly. We have daily reminders that the only thing for certain is uncertainty. A single moment can change everything. So many families are facing difficult times and it's a harsh reality to be a part of.

Secondly, it's Make a Wish Foundation of Utah's ducky derby time again. Many of you who have donated in the past may have received a brochure for this years' derby...you may have opened the brochure and noticed a couple of amazing girls had their picture in it!! How cool is that!! Preslee and Kaidan on 35,000 brochures! Pretty neat stuff. Times are hard, but that doesn't stop life threatening illness from plaguing kids and their families. Please support the MAW foundation, even $5 helps, and of course, you could win the grand prize!! (This year it's $15,000 towards a new vehicle) Personally, I hope we win because we are in need of a new car-Nate's car quit on us and we are officially a one car family-it's NOT working out very well :) But, I will be happy for the winner, which most likely will not be us, but I'd love it if it were someone that we know! So please donate!! (I had trouble setting up a donation page tonight, but I'll get it done, so please search for Kaidan Sudbury and donate under her name. The link is on www.utah.wish.org, it just wasn't working tonight.)

Okay, on to news about us! I'll start with those of us who have had nothing too unusual going on. Porter is absolutely AWESOME!! I love that kid. He's just so mellow and fun to be around. He's a bruiser and I think he'll definitely be doing some serious sports as he grows up-he always has a ball of some sort that he is playing with and he can entertain himself FOREVER just by throwing a ball at the wall and picking it up and doing it again. And...tonight he pooped in the potty for the first time!! (sorry if that's too much info) He's just growing up way too fast!

Cash is pretty awesome as well, and I love him equally! He does create some havoc in my life though! He is going through his terrible twos (yes...he's almost 4)! He is such a handful, but then he'll bring me a dandelion that he picked just for me and he'll give me the sweetest kiss and say he loves me and I just LOVE HIM! Tonight we were working on riding his bike without training wheels-I cannot believe he is getting so big!!

Preslee is doing great. She's on a competition soccer team this year and she is SOOOO EXCITED! She will be the goalie, which she is AWESOME at and she loves! She is such a sweet girl, always helping with the boys and trying to do her best in everything she does. I just love her to pieces. I couldn't make it without all her help.

I am doing good, always tired, but good. I have started a night job to help make ends meet, and it's been a HUGE adjustment. I don't mind the work, but I do not like the job. It's been really tough, but I do have applications in elsewhere and hopefully something else with some benefits or perks will come up soon. I've been struggling for awhile with arthritis-like pain and occasional numbness in my arms and hands. The doctors I've seen have decided I probably have Lupus, but there is really no definitive test that says that is what it is-but that's what they are treating me for. Most of the time it's not a big deal, but I do have occasional flare ups that can be quite painful. For now it's mostly just a nuisance.

Kaidan is doing pretty good. Up until a few days ago I would've said she is doing great, but she came down with a bit of the stomach flu and hasn't been the same since. Needless to say, I am worried. Nate and Cash had something similar, but they were both over it in less than 24 hours. Kaidan is going on 5 days now. She's had a very upset tummy, along with fatigue and fevers. She did have her monthly check up with her pediatrician a few days ago and all was well. Her counts dropped a bit, so her white count was low at 4.7 (i think) and her ANC was 1800. Good counts, but not as good as they have been. She also lost 2 pounds, which is a concern. Hopefully she starts feeling better and I can get out of the "what if" mode. She is such a sweet girl and I just love her so much. She has been through so much, I feel awful that she still has to get these little bugs that seem to always be worse for her than they are for others. Kaidan has always kept little "collections" of things. Usually things that I would consider junk or trash-she has kept ALL (I think) of her hospital bracelets in a little basket in her room since she got sick in 2007 and she counted them the other day. She had 99! So, last week at her blood draw she got her 100th hospital bracelet...WOW!! She has to be one of the STRONGEST people I know, my HERO for sure. We have her follow up at the oncology clinic the end of July and I have some questions for them, but hopefully she is doing well, gaining weight, and her blood counts will have rebounded.

I don't even know where to begin with Nate! He had a small mole on his ear that I hadn't noticed in the past. His biological mother has quite a bit of melanoma in her family, so I told him he better get it checked. Finally, he did, and it turned out to be melanoma! It went quite deep down into his ear and the doctors were a little concerned that the cancer may have spread. So, they have removed 2 inches off his ear and 3 of his lymph nodes in the neck area. Luckily, everything came back clean so he is now just left with 2 different sized ears, a hefty scar behind his ear down to his neck, and a $12,000 hospital bill! (but NO CANCER, so we'll take it!!)He will have to be seen every 4 months for a full body scan to make sure he doesn't have any other growths pop up. CRAZY!! It was a scary couple of weeks, but we are SO HAPPY that it hadn't spread. In addition to the melanoma, after his surgery his sleep apnea problems really surfaced and he had some serious struggles with his oxygen saturations. He ended up overnight in the hospital and tonight he is back for another sleep study. They have told him that he has life-threatening sleep apnea that he MUST take seriously. Hopefully they can get him on the right CPAP and oxygen levels to keep him healthy, ALIVE, and get him feeling good. The poor guy deserves to know what a good night of sleep feels like! I'm really hoping they can help him. Our insurance company is giving us some problems, but what is new? I just would love to have it all fall into place and work out so that he gets the help he needs and it doesn't kill us financially, but we will do whatever it takes to get him healthy whether insurance helps or not. I want him to be around for many more years and the doctors have made it very clear that his situation will not allow that if he doesn't make some changes. It has been a scary time for all of us-I know the kids are worried about him not breathing while he sleeps, especially when I'm at work-so I hope they find some answers tonight to help relieve concerns that we all have had. By the way, I love Nate too! He's a pretty awesome guy when all is said and done! I couldn't have imagined what a great dad he would become 10 years ago, but man oh man!!! he is the best dad in the world! The kids adore him, he is so supportive of them all and so present in their lives-just an AWESOME guy!

I think that sums it up!! If you are still reading...WOW! That was very long-winded. I really will try harder to keep up with my journaling better. As always, thank you for your continued love and support for our family. We couldn't have traveled this bumpy, bumpy road alone. We love you guys all so much!

Updates

2010-05-02T12:54:00.000-06:00

I was broken hearted yesterday when I woke up to find I had and urgent update email from CarePages. It was an update on Matthew Akin-sadly, he passed away. I only follow a handful of kids, and unfortunately, almost all of them are struggling or fighting for their life right now. Matthew Akin's brother, Andrew, had an immune disorder called HLH with a genetic mutation if I remember correctly. After 3 bone marrow transplants and a long time of fighting, he passed away. Justin and Kristin's other son Matthew had the same gene with the defect and he was actually in the hospital doing his bone marrow transplant when his brother passed away-how hard for their family! I can't even imagine. Now he has gone and I'm sure they are lost. Please visit their carepage www.carepages.com/carepages/babyandrewakin and leave them a message of support or just include them in your prayers.

Also, I'm going to post the link for Luke Jensen and his family. I have mentioned him before, he has AML, he's had 2 bone marrow transplants, but the cancer has returned. Please read their story. They are an amazing family also. www.caringbridge.org/visit/lukejensen

We are all doing well. I am constantly reminded to be grateful for where we are because things could always be worse.

this and that...

2010-04-27T11:10:00.000-06:00

Life is just flying by. I don't know if it's been awhile since I last posted, or if it's just that a lot has happened. I'm going to start by updating you on some of the kids that I wrote about in my last post. I have been so very sad lately because it seems like most everyone that I follow on CarePages or Caringbridge is struggling. It makes my heart just ache for their families and it also causes me to wonder what our future holds. If we have learned anything from everything that we've been through it's that there is no guarantee and planning is a dangerous endeavor. You cannot be sure what tomorrow will bring, so you must make the most of today. That being said, I wrote in my last post about Elliott-sadly, he passed away a couple of weeks ago-when I read the update about Elliott I was so sad for his parents, they've been through so much. This morning I read about Meaghan, who had been battling cancer for 7 years, both ALL and AML. Sadly, this mornings update was that she had passed away too. My heart is broken for her family, she fought so hard and they were so full of hope. I cried over the weekend as I looked at pictures posted online for Luke. He is getting weaker everyday. His supporters did an amazing thing for his family and had snow brought in to their yard so that they could all play in the snow. The pictures were absolutely heartbreaking and wonderful all at the same time. I have never met any of these families personally, but I feel like I know them and it is so hard for me to keep hearing how they struggle. It's really not fair! Please support childhood cancer awareness and research.

As far as our family, we are all doing well. We are always busy with finishing up our repairs from the flood and now trying to keep up with our kids soccer/tball/lacrosse/etc, not to mention dog obedience and turkey hunting. It's fun and crazy! The kids are having a blast though. I had hoped that Kaidan's stomach was better after we finished up her antibiotics for the H Pylori that she tested positive for, but I'm afraid that isn't the case. She was doing really well for a couple of weeks, but the past couple of days have been tough. We'll have to see what we can do. Her next clinic appointment is May 4th and then we will be transferring her care to her pediatrician. She will still have labs done and be seen monthly, but we'll avoid the hospital which will be nice.

I have some new pictures, but I can never find the time to post them, so I'll try to get to that soon. I'll update again if/when I get them online.

it's weighing on my mind...

2010-03-27T21:45:00.001-06:00

Okay, I didn't say everything that was on my mind on the last post because I had already rambled enough, so here goes...

Have I ever told you that I HATE CANCER?? Especially childhood cancer! Kids should not have to go through what cancer makes them go through. And it's really not just cancer, it's anything that makes a child suffer. It's just heartbreaking. I read a lot of carepage/caringbridge stories and this past couple of weeks many of the families I follow have been devastated by more bad news. One boy, Luke, is going through cancer a 3rd time, this time with no idea what more they can do. Elliott, he reminds me so much of my brother, is in a medically induced coma to try and let his body heal from many things, some caused from previous cancer treatment. Meaghan, also in an induced coma, has endured this for 7+ years; she recently faced a new cancer diagnosis while she was being treated for a different cancer. She got great news that her bone marrow was 100% donor and within a week or two is now in the ICU fighting for her life. JP doesn't have cancer, but he has spent months and months on end in the hospital fighting. There are so many others that are unsure of what their futures will bring, whether they are waiting for test results or just living the "after cancer life" like we are. There are many more who now count the days since they have physically seen or held their child...I can't imagine that.

I am so glad Kaidan is still here, I feel blessed and lucky...sometimes I think I even feel a little bit of survivors guilt. We do still have daily reminders of what we have been through...daily reminders of how quickly things can change. Kaidan's stomach issues are bad, and I cannot seem to get the thoughts out of my head that it's more than what we are finding right now. We have no idea what problems may arise in the future because of the poisons we pumped into her little body.

It's a daily struggle to remember to enjoy the moment and to stay positive. We do our best to be thankful for everything we have, but I'm not going to lie, there are times when I am not thankful. I am angry that this is what our life has become, that I have a habit of putting my hand on Kaidan's forehead checking for a fever, that I can't sleep because my mind can't shut off the "what ifs". I'm mad that Nate has had to juggle work/home/hospital time for the last 3 years. I'm angry that Kaidan has had to do things that no one should ever have to do, that she has bravery beyond her years. I'm angry that she gets completely wiped out, just from shopping or playing for half an hour. I'm angry that Preslee has witnessed all of it, I'm sad that she has grown up too fast, not because she wanted to, but because she had to. I'm sad that she has had to take on more responsibility than most 13 year olds have. I'm sad that our boys know what puke buckets are for, that they don't think it's weird to throw up all the time or to always feel sick. I'm angry that to them it's normal to have to go to doctors and hospitals on a weekly basis. I'm angry that we can't breathe because of the financial toll illness puts on a family....

I guess maybe I'm a bit more angry than even I realized, but there are still things that I am thankful for. I am thankful that Nate and I have a strong enough marriage to get through everything we've been through. I'm thankful that Preslee is an amazing daughter, that she has handled everything with grace and that she loves life. I'm thankful that the boys are normal (at least I think they are normal), that we were able to keep some consistency in their lives and that they love their sisters dearly. I'm thankful that both Nate and I have jobs that are understanding and flexible. I am glad that we have health insurance...I think...even though it's expensive. I'm thankful that Kaidan is sassy, brave, strong, and feisty. I am thankful that she has the most positive attitude and that she has not let cancer define who she is.

Since Kaidan's diagnosis I have wanted to raise awareness, but the past couple of weeks it seems to be all I can think about. Unfortunately, I don't know how to do that and I have a full plate already with just trying to keep a house clean and taking care of the kids. So, I can only do small things now, but one day...one day I will do something BIG!!

Please support childhood cancer research. Please visit my sisters blog www.crochetforcancer.blogspot.com . Please visit other website links I have on this page. Please donate blood and sign up to be a bone marrow donor. Every little bit of awareness helps...you can get car magnets from Candlelighters, you can help spread the word. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, we need that to make the news! Betty Crocker is doing their Stirring Up Wishes campaign again to support Make a Wish, please support them by purchasing their products and visiting their website to find out more www.stirringupwishes.com .

If you read to this point, thanks for listening to me whine. I've found it is very therapeutic to vent, even if it's just to a computer screen. We so appreciate all the support and love that we have been given, thank you!

2010-03-25T23:23:00.000-06:00

We have had a fun couple of days. On Tuesdays in March the boys have been doing Itty Bitty Lacrosse...so much FUN!! It's just great to watch a bunch of 2-4 year olds running around with lacrosse sticks! For anyone who doesn't know Cash that well, he is a home body. He loves to stay home and just hang out. He has fun doing things, it just takes a little (sometimes a lot) of coercing to get him to actually leave the house, but once he gets where we're going he usually has a great time. So Tuesday morning I was getting the boys ready and this is the conversation Cash and I had:

Me: Come on Cash, hurry and get dressed.
Cash: Where are we going mom?
Me: To lacrosse so hurry up, we're going to be late.
Cash: I don't want to go today, my foot itches.
Me: Fine, we don't have to go.
Cash: Can we go swimming to that place what has the blue slide? (Yes, I meant to type "what". He always says "what" when he should say "that". It's so funny. He also thinks that tomorrow means yesterday. I cannot figure out how to explain that one to him.)
Me: NO...If we're going anywhere it's to lacrosse.
Cash: FINE mom...I'll go to lacrosse, but my foot still itches.

Isn't that great? He cracks me up every day. He has really had fun doing lacrosse and is now convinced that he is on a football team, a soccer team, and a baseball team. He always had some sort of game that started 3 minutes ago and because of me he is late. I have no idea what he is talking about, but for his own sanity I did sign him up for t-ball that will start in April. It should be fun. My pictures from lacrosse turned out too dark, but I did get a couple of Porter that turned out.

Tuesday was also Kaidan's first soccer practice! She was so, so excited. Porter and I took her, so Porter got some good playground time in too.

This is what Kaidan looked like on the way to practice...she also fell asleep on the way home.

Today my sisters, dad, and Steve took the girls snowboarding. They were so excited to finally get to go! The boys and I drove up to watch them for awhile, so even Cash got in a little run! He is such a strange little man, on the way up there he was asking me if we were going to the snowy mountains or the desert. ??? He thinks he's Diego or something.

So with all of this fun stuff comes some crummy stuff too. You knew it was coming, right? Nate's car didn't pass inspection on Monday...bummer! He is currently driving an unregistered car with an expired drivers license. I'm pretty sure he's going to end up in jail :) Hopefully we can get both of those things taken care of this weekend, it's the new drivers license requirements that are holding us back on that. We can't find his birth certificate, so I'm waiting for a new one to come in the mail. The car is going to cost a bit of money, so I'm not real happy about that. On Tuesday the GI doctor called and Kaidan's tests were all normal except she tested positive for H Pylori. It's some sort of bacteria that can cause chronic gastritis. So she is being treated with 3 different medications for that and her prescriptions were over $200...double bummer. On Wednesday I was running late to pick Preslee up from soccer so I may possibly have been driving a little fast....I may also have gotten a speeding ticket...triple bummer. Oh well, life is life.

I had several things I wanted to mention as far as our cancer life goes, but I've rambled on enough, so maybe in a couple of days I'll get to that stuff, but look at me journalin' it up...pretty exciting!

a great weekend...

2010-03-21T22:01:00.000-06:00

I have so many new pictures, so I'm hoping to get my shutterfly page updated soon, but I'm going to put a couple from this weekend on here. I really need to be better at taking pictures...and at journaling...etc, etc, etc....

We had a great weekend, but the kids stayed up too late :( hopefully they'll recover by getting in bed early tonight. Friday I took the boys to Ogden and we hit the Treehouse Childrens Museum with Janae and her kids. The boys absolutely love playing with their cousins. I took some pictures but they were all blurry...I had the camera on the night setting. Of course! The afternoon was spent running around doing errands and such, Kaidan got her new soccer uniform and Preslee needed new cleats. She also talked me into buying her some goalie gloves. They are both so excited about spring sports!!! All the kids are loving having some nice weather and being able to play outside. I have to admit, I'm loving it too! It's so nice to have them dead tired by the end of the day :)

Saturday we went to see Alice in Wonderland with HopeKids. We all liked it a lot, it was a great movie. Then we went to my sisters lacrosse game at Westminster. She had an awesome game and scored 6 goals. It was such a nice day and again the kids had a blast being outside. Kaidan had a rough evening, with a low grade temp and lots and lots of tummy pain, but she seemed better today. I'm hoping to get some of her test results early this week.

Today Nate took the kids fishing in the morning and then we had a family party. Again, outside all day! We are loving it!! We played lacrosse, soccer, and barbecued! It was a great weekend.

another check-up...4 months off chemo!!!

2010-03-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

We had a very long day at Primary's yesterday. All in all it was a good day though. The day started with Kaidan getting her labs done. She had to be fasting because we were checking her glucose, which was great. I'm not sure what is causing the continued cloudy vision, but it isn't diabetes, which is awesome! All her other labs look great, just a couple of liver function labs that are off, but only slightly, so it's really not a concern at this time. We also drew an iron and ferritin to see if those are normal. Her ferritin was extremely high in the past, but we haven't checked it for awhile. I haven't received those results yet. So, all in all, blood looks great. From a leukemia standpoint she is doing very well. She'll have another check up on April 6th.

We also had our long awaited visit with the GI doctor. Kaidan has struggled so much with her stomach problems since her diagnosis of leukemia and it hasn't gotten any better. We had hoped that as more and more time passed since her last chemo she would improve, but that isn't happening. This doctor was great! He took a good long look at Kaidan and asked her many, many questions. He also listened to me which is a plus. We had a test called a hydascan back in February. Clinic told me that this test came back with no abnormalities, but unfortunately they misled us. Her gallbladder didn't empty, which is an abnormality and can cause pain. We are also going to run more blood tests and stool tests to check for inflammation of her intestines, celiac, colitis, infection, etc. If those tests come back normal we will do an endoscopy to look at her intestinal tract, etc. If all of that is normal then we will remove the gallbladder. That is going to be our last resort, as we could go in and remove it now because there is some abnormality there, but it wouldn't necessarily stop her problems. The doctor felt like this was probably not the source of her problems, so we will only do that as a last resort.

It was a long day, but I was satisfied with our new plan (but very disappointed in the oncology clinic for not telling me that there was some abnormality a month ago). Kaidan deserves to live a normal life. Right now her stomach problems are interfering with this. I hope we can get it taken care of soon! Other than all of that she is doing well. She is going to play spring soccer and she absolutely cannot wait!! She is so excited.

Preslee is doing well, she will be playing with the same soccer team this spring and will also be doing lacrosse if the two schedules don't interfere with each other. She loves playing sports and is very good at it.

The boys are doing great too. They both just started an itty bitty lacrosse program that is just awesome. It is complete chaos, but so fun to watch. They are having a lot of fun and it's a good way to help with the spring fever we are experiencing. It seems like we have a couple of good days that they can play outside and then it's back to wet weather and they are couped up again. They absolutely love being outside...all of them do.

The dog....well, what can I say...he's a dog named Goose. He is insane. He still eats everything, not so much chewing, just completely consuming everything in his path. He's still wild as ever, and very easily excited, but hopefully next weeks neuter and a couple more months of puppyhood and we can get past that. Hopefully we'll have the funds to do some good training classes with him too. His damage to the house is getting repaired nicely. It's taking us a while because we are doing all the work ourselves with the help of our families, but it's looking good and we are making progress! I think we should have it all done in another month or so. Then, maybe, we can just sit and enjoy having a home of our own. We are looking forward to finally feeling settled.

I'll update more as we get results from Kaidan's stomach tests. Thank you all for the continued support and love. We really appreciate everyones continued concern for our family.

p.s. please visit www.crochetforcancer.blogspot.com and support my sister and childhood cancer!! she makes the cutest crocheted items and it would be great to start getting the word out about her website. childhood cancer is just awful. i read stories of other kids and it just breaks my heart. i wouldn't wish this life on anyone...it's horrible for all involved. if you are able, please support us. thank you

check up time...

2010-02-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

Kaidan had her check-up with oncology yesterday. It went very well. I had a lot of concerns, and I can't say that I don't anymore, but I am relieved to see that her blood counts look good. They are actually completely normal! We are really grateful for that, It's good to know that her immune system is picking back up.

There are still so many things that are concerning. She is still experiencing a lot of stomach pain, occasional headaches that are quite intense, bone pain throughout her body, blurred vision, and occasional chest pain. Whether or not these things are related, or whether they are indicative of anything is still unknown. She has an appointment with the pediactric opthamologists up at Primary's the end of this month and an appointment with the GI doctors up there on the 9th of March, which is also her next clinic check-up. Hopefully we can get some answers.

I don't want to sound like I'm not pleased with her blood results, but I do have a lingering feeling that something isn't right. Along with all her current symptoms, which are all too similar to how she felt for 2 months leading up to her original diagnosis, her white blood count and ANC more than doubled in the last couple of weeks, but her hemoglobin and hematocrit went down, just slightly. Her platelets stayed the same. That isn't a bad thing, but I would have liked to see them all increase. As a cancer mom, I know all too well that the white count and ANC increase and everything else decreases when there is cancer. Obviously her counts are all still great, so nothing is going on now, but it's very, VERY hard to relax. I try really hard, but I'm constantly feeling her forehead for a fever, constantly checking her out for weird bruises when she's getting changed for bed, and just constantly worried about the future and the unknown. Am I insane? Or is this normal? I imagine it will get a little better with each passing month and with each positive check-up. It is all just so scary.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on. I'm very happy that her counts are great and her immune system seems to be recovering. She is doing well overall, and I'm glad for that.

On to more news, Carson, our good friend from Bluffdale finished his treatment yesterday I believe!! Way to go!! We are so happy for them.

Also, my sister has her blog up and running. It's still in the beginning stages, but check it out! www.crochetforcancer.blogspot.com

Everyone else seems to be happy and healthy in our house. We are glad for that.

I'll update again after Kaidan's appointments over the next few weeks. Thank you all for your continued concern and support.

long time no updates...

2010-01-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

So, we've had A LOT going on, but I want to start with a few things non-Sudbury.

First, tomorrow (Sunday the 24th) on Nickelodeon at 6:00 (mountain time) there is going to be a special on childhood cancer. I really, really hope everyone who reads this will watch.

Second, my sister started a blog to help support research for childhood cancer. She makes the cutest crocheted headbands and hats and she is going to sell them and donate a portion of the money to CureSearch. I hope you all will go to her blog just to check it out, and buy a headband or two if you like, or just donate if you can. The address is www.crochetforcancer.blogspot.com. It's just in the beginning stages, so check it out now and again in a few more days!

Now, on to Sudbury-ness. I am hoping to do better at updating because I'm no good at keeping a journal and I really wish I did, so I'm hoping this will be more like that for me.

We've had a busy couple of months. December is always busy, of course, but we did have a great Christmas. We moved into our new house, and we got a dog. Those were the two major events of December along with Kaidan's birthday and our 10th wedding anniversary. Well...we had the dog and the house all of 4 weeks and he chewed through a pipe in our bathroom when we weren't home and flooded our house! So, our house is torn apart and we are now in the process of replacing and remodeling most of our upstairs and our garage. (That is a very un-dramatic way for me to put it all. There is a whole lot of nonsense associated with all of this:)

So, the flood started January for us. Since then we have lost our bird, Chewy. He is (or was?)a beautiful sun conure. He loved to sit on our shoulders and did it so often that you could easily forget that he was there and that's exactly what happened. Nate walked outside with the bird on his shoulder and something scared him so he flew up to a tree. We were unable to get him down and to make a long story short he ended up flying South and we haven't seen him since. Bummer.

As far as the family, we are all healthy and doing well. I changed the girls' schools after we moved and it proved to be a much more difficult transition than we planned for. So for now we are trying some homeschooling to finish out this year and hopefully I can figure something out for next year that will work better for them.

Kaidan is doing okay, not great, but it could be worse. She is struggling so much with stomach issues that it really has started interfering with her normal daily routines. She had some scans done this week and they all came back normal, so I'm not sure where we go from here. Her blood counts on Tuesday were good, but her white blood count and ANC are very low. This surprised me because she's been off chemo for so long and they are lower than they have been since last July. Along with this she seems to be more tired than usual and has been running a low grade fever off and on for a week or so. I am more than worried, to say the least. Her next scheduled appointment is February 9th.

I'll keep you posted on Kaidan and everything else Sudbury. Please try to watch that Nickelodeon special and definitely go to the new blog. www.crochetforcancer.blogspot.com (If you've got a website, we'd love you to put a link to Crochet for Cancer)

Thanks!!

check-up time...

2010-01-06T00:21:00.000-07:00

Kaidan had her oncology check-up today. It is a strange and new emotion for me to feel such anxiety about getting her labs done. I didn't fully realize how stressful it would be as each appointment gets closer.

Everything looked great! Her blood counts are good. They are in the normal range, but still on the low-normal end. That should just keep getting better and better. She has managed to gain a little weight, even with the stomach issues, so that is awesome. We are going to have her seen by a pediatric gastro intestinal doctor just to check things out. Hopefully we can figure out what it is that is causing her so much grief. We are also going to be watching her blood sugar levels to see if that is possibly what is causing a bit of blurriness in her eyesight. Other than that she is in great shape. It's so nice to see her growing and doing things that all the other kids can do. She is regaining her strength nicely.

The rest of us are doing well too. We are recovering from the holidays and getting back into a new school routine. We bought a house in December and we are settling in. The girls just started the new school today and I know they will do well. I'm struggling because it's such a different experience than school they have gone to for so long....so, so different. (Mrs. Westover or Mrs. Winkleman, if you are reading this, please email me.)

Other than that there isn't much new going on. Kaidan's next appointment is in February so I'll update again closer to then unless something new comes up.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-06T00:18:00.000-07:00

Kaidan's check-up...

2009-12-09T12:18:00.001-07:00

Kaidan had her check-up with oncology yesterday and everything went well. We will do it again next month. I had a lot of anxiety, more than I thought I would, but it went really well. All her counts are great and we are going to try an antacid to see if that will help her tummy issues. I'll keep you posted, but Merry Christmas!

2009-12-02T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well, tomorrow Kaidan turns 8!! She is so excited. She is doing well for the most part. She's having a bit of trouble with her legs (ankles and knees) and she often has stomach problems, but she's going to school regularly and feeling pretty great!

I don't even know what to say about her upcoming birthday. I can't believe that she is turning 8! She's growing up too fast. We are lucky to be her parents and we love having her spunky attitude in our home (most of the time)! She is a good girl and we love her very, very much. We are so thankful that we are celebrating another birthday with her and we hope she has the best year ever!!

She has an appointment next Tuesday, the 8th, to have her blood counts checked and to see the oncologist. She will have monthly appointments for a year.

In other news, we are buying a house!! We are really excited and hope to close mid-December. It will be an unorganized Christmas this year, but we are so, so excited! I'll keep you posted.

I will update again after Kaidan's appointment.

fun, fun, FUN!!!

2009-11-07T23:15:00.001-07:00

The "end of chemo" party was a success! Everyone had a great time, especially Kaidan. I'm so glad that we are beginning a new chapter of life, chemo free.

We are so grateful to everyone of you that were able to make it to the party. We appreciate that so, so much. It was a lot of fun, so thank you! A BIG thank you to everyone who helped make the party happen as well. We couldn't have done it without you.

Kaidan's next check-up with oncology is the first week of December...I'm sure as that time nears it will be nerve racking.

Thanks again! We love you guys!

the big PARTY...

2009-10-30T13:42:00.000-06:00

If anyone who reads this website that would like to come to the party, but has not gotten an invitation, please email me for the party details. I have sent out the invites, but I'm sure I forgot some people...sorry. I tried to remember everyone, but I'm still thinking of people that I forgot. So, if you are wanting to come party with us next Saturday, Nov. 7th, drop me an email and I'll get you the info. mysteejsuds@hotmail.com Thanks!

Everyone is doing well and we're getting excited for trick-or-treating!!

flu shots...

2009-10-27T18:00:00.000-06:00

Porter had his 18 month check up today, which was great. He's a healthy, happy boy! Then...everyone had to have flu shots. Preslee, Cash, and Porter all got the regular flu shot and the H1N1 shot. They were not happy, but they did well. The person who was the most unhappy was Kaidan, she had already gotten the regular flu shot at her last clinic visit, but since they had the H1N1 available today, I decided she may as well get it (after I called oncology and made sure it was ok). She threw a fit like I've never seen before, but in the end it was fine. On the way home she told me that she was just unprepared and that is why it was hard.

Anyway, it's all done now, so hopefully the flu doesn't get us this year. Especially Kaidan, she deserves a year off.

chocolate pudding...

2009-10-26T22:15:00.000-06:00

Porter thinks he's a big boy now...I guess he kind of is. He has decided that only he can feed himself. We are no longer allowed to help. So yesterday he had a snack of chocolate pudding. He had a great time, and I think he might have even eaten a little bit...

heading home...eventually...

2009-10-22T23:27:00.000-06:00

Kaidan's counts are good. Her ANC is actually 4700, so it's good and high. We will be heading home as soon as they come in with discharge papers and remove her IV.

They wanted to do a nasal swab to rule out the flu, but she doesn't have any flu symptoms, so I said NO. She's had that done so many times, and it's not a fun procedure, so there is no reason to do it when she doesn't have symptoms. After being here all night, she'll probably get the flu in a few days anyway and then they'll have to do it...I'm joking, but there is some truth to that. You sit and wait with hundreds of sick people and then when you get to your room the doctors, nurses, techs, people stocking supplies, residents, people making sure you are going to pay them if your insurance doesn't, people just making sure it's not an empty room...I'm sure you get it...anyway, all these people go into the rooms of sick people and then into your room and you are bound to get something!! We'll hope not, but I wouldn't be surprised. Today was seriously CRAZY in the ER. I have never seen so many people here. It was like a scene from the movie Outbreak, everyone wearing masks. It was surreal.

Anyway, we're headed home, so I thought I'd let everyone know that we are good. We'll just keep our fingers crossed that the fever doesn't come back tomorrow night!!

what??!!??

2009-10-22T20:54:00.001-06:00

We are currently sitting in the ER at Primary's. Actually we are in the radiology waiting room because the ER is FULL, and I mean FULL!!!! We are here because Kaidan came in from playing outside in the leaves and gave me a hug...of course, she was hot. I had her take her temp and it was 102.1. So, they said she needed to come in since she hasn't had labs in a couple weeks and she is still on treatment. So here we sit and here we wait. They told us we will get the first available room since she is immunocompromised, but it still could be a 2 hour wait.

This is insane...

I'll update more in awhile

moving on...

2009-10-13T18:05:00.001-06:00

Well...what can I say? I can say that I have an amazing daughter. All my kids are amazing, of course, but today was Kaidan's day. She is so, so very brave.

Our day started with clinic at 9:00. I was extremely disappointed when the doctor that came in to see Kaidan was not the doctor we have requested to see. My initial feeling on that is that we put our feelings out there, we gave the proper people all of our concerns, and for what? Kaidan's doctor isn't even going to be there to answer all of the questions we have as we start this new phase of our journey? She's not going to be there to congratulate Kaidan for a job well done? So...I made my opinion heard. I complained. And, although we still didn't see our doctor, she did come down the the surgery waiting room to see us and the administration came down to see us in the recovery room to try to make things right. We'll see how it goes from here on out. I told the administration that I feel like this next year it will be even more important to us that we see the same doctor on every visit. Our trips up there will become fewer and farther between and I feel like it is very important for the doctor who treats her to know her. I will not tolerate seeing a different doctor every single month.

Anyway, back to the clinic visit. It went well other than the doctor mishap. Kaidan's counts were still a bit high, but much lower than they were last week. Her ANC was down to 2600, so that is good. They aren't going to increase her chemo anymore. After Kaidan had her chemo and labs done the staff brought in a beautiful quilt and some books and toys for Kaidan. They sang "Happy Off Treatment To You" to her. I don't think I've ever seen a bigger smile on her face!

After clinic we headed down to surgery. It was very hard to watch Kaidan walk away from us. She was fine right up until we had to part ways and then she became very sad and scared. She was crying and holding onto Nate, it was very hard to watch. (Jennette, I didn't see your message until just now about going back with her :( ) She finally mustered up the strength to go on with the doctor; again, I can't tell you how brave she is. A child shouldn't have to do that. The surgery went well, it took about an hour for the actual surgery, but Kaidan decided to take a nap afterwards, so it was another 2 hours before she was finally awake enough to go home.

So here we are. We are done. Kaidan will have oral chemo until Nov. 5th, but we don't have to go back into clinic until the first week of December. That's the longest we've ever gone without going up there...weird.

I'll update more later, but thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, and concerns. I took many pictures today, so I'll try to get some posted.

big day tomorrow!!

2009-10-13T00:11:00.001-06:00

It's finally here. WOW!! I really can't believe that this day is already here. In the beginning months of treatment you feel like this day will never come. Towards the end of treatment you start seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. I don't even know how to describe what we feel now. We are excited, scared, worried, nervous, happy, and pretty much any other emotion you can name. It's weird.

I think because of the fever Kaidan had on Friday (which continued off and on for most of the weekend) and the very high blood counts she had, it has added a lot of fear to what I was already feeling. I am still super excited, but there is definitely more anxiety. I'm so worried about getting her labs done tomorrow. I don't know what to expect. Of course, I mostly expect them to be back to normal, but a part of me is nervous that they won't be. It's a hard thing to explain. Every scenario has played out in my mind, and I imagine this will be the case every time we go in for blood draws and check ups after she is all done.

Kaidan is nervous for tomorrow. She doesn't want to have to walk away from us as she goes to the operating room. Unfortunately, this isn't like a back poke where we can stay with her until she falls asleep. This will be difficult for all of us. I can't even imagine the fear she must feel as she goes into a room full of strangers. We have talked about it, she knows what to expect, she knows we'll be waiting for her to wake up and then we'll be right there with her, she has even done it before...but it's still crappy! It's amazing how even with all the greatness of being done with treatment there is still something that no child should ever have to endure. What I want to say is IT'S NOT FAIR!! We should be able to go with her. We should be able to hold her hand until she falls asleep, and then they can move her to a sterile room and do the surgery. That is how it should be!!

Even with all of this...I still know that we are blessed. We are so lucky that this day is here and that after tomorrow Kaidan will be one more step closer to completing treatment! That is a beautiful thing!!

The plan is for chemo in clinic first, then she has to check in to the operating room by 10:30. The surgery should start by noon and I think it's a relatively quick procedure. Hopefully we are finished by 2:00 or so. I'll update tomorrow night with all the details.

Thanks for all the love and support!

a fever...

2009-10-09T17:29:00.001-06:00

Kaidan woke up early this morning with a fever of 102. We had a short visit to the clinic for the standard antibiotic and to check her blood counts. Her counts are insanely high. Her ANC has increased from 1400 on Wednesday to 6300 today. Her white count is over 7000. I'm nervous to say the least. I KNOW that the white count increases when you are fighting a virus, but I also KNOW that it increases with leukemia. They assured me that she is fine and she is just fighting something, so we'll take that for now. This is the highest I think her white count has ever been since diagnosis.

I'll update if anything changes; otherwise, it will be Tuesday evening when I'll post again. Thanks...

big days ahead...

2009-10-07T23:24:00.000-06:00

I figured it's probably about time I update this thing. I feel like I haven't done it in forever! That is a good thing! No news is almost always good news. You'll have to forgive me if this update is long and all over the place. When I haven't posted anything for a long time there seems to be a lot more to say :)

Things are going really well. Kaidan has been having her weekly blood draws and her labs are good. They have increased her chemo quite a bit, I think she's at about 75% on both medications, so with that her counts have gone down substantially, but they are still good for a cancer kid. She had an MRI to check the progression of AVN in her legs. The oncology clinic said that it's improving, but that was all they said, so I called her orthopedic doctor to have him take a look at them, but he said that PCMC had locked the images, so he wasn't able to look at them. I now have to call and have those released to me so that I can get his opinion on them. I just want to make sure they look good before we remove her central line. By the way, the date for that surgery is next Tuesday!! Can you believe it?? I am a little nervous that they might postpone it because she has come down with a nasty cough the last couple of days and it seems to be getting worse, but I'm hoping it will clear up and she'll be good to go. I just want it done!! I have such mixed emotions about the whole thing that I think the only way to get over it is to just get it over with. Our life will be so weird without the weekly blood draws or the monthly IV chemo and the yucky stuff that comes with that. We are excited and scared all at the same time.

School is going well for everyone. Both girls are doing plays this month, which they absolutely love. They are both born performers, so it's a lot of fun for them. Preslee is doing great at soccer, playing goalie a lot of the time, but doing great at any position they put her in. She's a very athletic girl, so she's having a blast. Kaidan is still dancing, but it's been tough for her. Her legs have had a hard time getting used to going all day at school, so dance has suffered because of that. She still loves every minute of it and she also wants to play soccer next season. Cash is doing great in preschool. He asked me if I knew where the number 5 was and I told him I didn't. He looked at me like I was stupid and told me it is at his school! He's having a great time and loving his new friends and I think he likes the independence that comes with growing up. Porter...what can I say... He finally has teeth, 4 of them to be exact. He looks like a jack-o-lantern. He talks ALL the time, we just don't have any idea what he is saying. If you look up "cutest kid ever" in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure there is a picture of Porter there.

Next week will be here so soon, and November 5th, which is Kaidan's last day of chemotherapy, will be here quickly after that. I can't even describe what I feel. I've been humbled lately by other families and their stories. I know how blessed we are. Things could be so different right now, things could be so much worse. I have read too many stories lately of children being that are now free from their disease, leaving their families here to sort through the emotions of sadness that they are gone, but happiness that they are no longer suffering. I've read stories of kids that are still fighting, living a life of chemo and blood draws and hospital stays. Many of them have spent so much time fighting to live that it's the only life they really know. Every story hits home. This journey is not over. We will live with the fear of the unknown (which is also a fear of what we do know, if that makes any sense). Most recently, I read an update about a girl named Meghan. I have been following her story for a long time. She was 4 years old when she was diagnosed with ALL. She completed her treatment and was in remission for over 2 years before she relapsed in Jan 2008. Just two days ago, while in the hospital for fevers and low blood counts, she found out she now has a secondary cancer, AML. I am so sad for her and her family. She has been through so much already and now will have to have a bone marrow transplant along with more chemo. We need to figure out a way to get more awareness for childhood cancer. September was childhood cancer month, but there isn't much support out there for it. We need to see GOLD everywhere. You can buy anything you want in pink...and I mean anything...how can we get that kind of support in GOLD??? The treatments kids endure are terrible-sometimes causing secondary cancers-if there was more awareness that would lead to more funding, more funding leads to more research, and that would lead to better treatments!! There has to be a way!!

Okay, I'm done. I just want everyone to know that we are excited, but we are scared. We know we are in a great place now, we know that we are blessed that Kaidan is here and healthy, but we are so, so scared for what the future holds. We live each day to the fullest, we love every minute we have together, we are happy. The emotions are just very overwhelming at times.

November 7th is the date for our big PARTY!! It will be an open house from 6-9 p.m. I will post location information closer to that time. I will be sending out invitations, but if you don't receive one that doesn't mean you aren't invited!! PLEASE COME!! I am doing my best to remember everyone, but I think of someone every day that I have forgotten, so I have realized that I'm sure I'll forget a few. Please know that if you are reading this, if you love Kaidan, if you want to celebrate this happy time with us, then YOU ARE INVITED!!
I'll update again after the big day...next Tuesday, the 13th of October!!

1 down, only 1 more to go...

2009-09-15T20:49:00.000-06:00

Chemo went fine today. It was a pretty quick visit, which was nice because I had the boys with me. Kaidan's counts are great...in fact, they are increasing her chemo to lower them a bit. We are going to try a yogurt regime to see if we can control some of her stomach issues.

I really cannot believe that we are almost done. It's an interesting mix of emotions. I know I've said it before, but I'm scared! I really worry about the future for Kaidan and our family. I think that this is something that will never, ever go away. It might get easier or become less constant, but it won't ever go away. The doctor assured me today that everything I'm feeling is completely normal. It will definitely be a different life for us when we don't have to run to the ER for a fever!! So, the plan is for an MRI the 12th of October to check on the progression of AVN in Kaidan's legs, IV chemo the morning of the 13th, and then surgery to remove her port that afternoon. Then, she'll take oral chemo until November 5th. After that she will have monthly blood draws for a year.

BIG PARTY...Saturday November 7th...open house from 6-9 p.m....more info soon!!! Please save this date if you can. We want lots of people to celebrate with us.

It's a Monday...

2009-09-14T14:32:00.001-06:00

After Kaidan's blood counts dropped they shot right back up!! At last weeks blood draw her ANC was 3100. More than doubled from the week before. It's day 3 of school and she came home sick, but we're getting used to this constant stomach trouble. Chemo tomorrow...only 1 more to go after that!!!

BIG PARTY...Saturday November 7th...open house from 6-9 p.m....more info soon!!!

I'll update tomorrow after chemo.

this week's blood counts...

2009-09-02T17:05:00.001-06:00

Kaidan is doing well. Her ANC has dropped from over 3,000 2 weeks ago, to 2,500 last week to 1,400 this week...AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!

I thought we had finally gotten her counts under control. Oh well, we'll keep our fingers crossed for no fevers and check her counts again next Wednesday.

The ducky derby was fun!! We didn't quite meet our goal, but we were very close. A BIG THANK YOU to everyone who helped us out with that. I know times are really tough right now for everyone, so thanks to you all. I promise I won't ask for money from you all for awhile:)

The planning for our "end of chemo party" is well under way. It will be the evening of November 7th, that is a Saturday. Please save that date. We really want this to be a great celebration! It's a very exciting thing for us all and we want to share it with everyone who has been a part of our lives during this long journey.

I have many, many mixed emotions about the months coming up. I am so, so very glad that we are coming to the date when Kaidan will not have her central line and, soon after that, the day when she will no longer have pills to take every night. I am also so, so very nervous about what that will be like. It's impossible to understand unless you've experienced it, but it is a weird feeling, there are no words to really describe the many emotions you can feel all at once. The fact that she will have nothing going into her body to stop the cancer cells from growing is SCARY!! As much as I hate chemo, I hate cancer more. Anyway...enough about that. The end is near and we are SUPER EXCITED!! We hope that you will all be able to stop by our party and add some fun!!

I'll update next week after blood counts. Thanks again for all the support!!

ducks, ducks, ducks...

2009-08-27T00:04:00.000-06:00

The deadline for buying ducks is this Friday. We are almost at $700. I have some cash I need to turn in and I need to buy a few myself. If you can, please support us. Thank you!!

Copy this link to go directly to our Make a Wish page:
http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=318740&u=318740-260812356&e=2605314071

new pictures and ducks...

2009-08-22T20:03:00.001-06:00

I have almost finished uploading tons of new photos to our picture site:
www.thesudburyfamily.shutterfly.com
Check them out when you get a chance.

Also...we are on the final stretch to reaching our goal of duckies. Our goal is $1000 and we have sold about $600. That is AWESOME!! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported us. If you haven't yet, and you are able, please sponsor a duck, they are $5 each. You COULD win a car, and you WILL be helping to grant wishes for kids with life-threatening diseases. The link to buy a duck is:
http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=318740&u=318740-260812356&e=2605314071

Thanks again for all the support.

FINAL CHEMO with SEDATION!!!

2009-08-18T15:22:00.000-06:00

Today was a big day. Kaidan had her last chemo with sedation!! Everything went well. She was nervous, probably because it's been a couple months since she has had to be put to sleep and have the back poke; but, she did great!!! She told me at one point that if she didn't get something to eat RIGHT NOW, she was going to die in the next 100 seconds. She's still alive, so I guess I got her food fast enough.

She now has 2 more IV chemos on Sept. 15 and Oct. 13, and then she will be on oral chemo until Nov. 5. Because this date has been moved back, we are changing her "end of chemo party". I don't have an exact date yet, I'm waiting to re-reserve a few things, but hopefully it will be either the Friday or Saturday after the 5th. I'll update again as soon as I know for sure. She will also be having surgery on Oct. 13th to have her port removed. After that they will just draw labs through normal pokes on her hand or arm. She's not excited about that, but once the port is gone, the risk of infection is also gone, so when she gets a fever we can treat her at home and she will not have to go to the hospital. That will be AWESOME!!

Kaidan's counts were great again, her ANC is over 3,000. For me that is fabulous, but for the doctors it is too high. They are increasing her oral pills a little bit and we'll keep doing weekly blood draws to monitor her reaction. I'm really hoping we can get through the next couple months with no fevers, no ER visits, and definitely no admits. Overall, Kaidan is doing amazing. She feels pretty good, she looks great, and she's able to do more and more things that a 7 year old should do. She's super excited about the party, and wants to invite everyone; all of our family and friends, all the nurses and techs, but not the doctors!! I thought that was funny. She cracks me up.

Everyone else around here is doing good. Preslee's electric scooter was stolen off of our back patio while we were at the lake last time, so she's been a little nervous to sleep downstairs alone. I hate that people do stuff like that. It's always a bigger deal than just a stolen scooter (which by itself it a big deal to the 9 year old that it belonged to). It really makes you feel violated and has a deeper psychological effect than just an item being stolen. Cash is awesome, and Porter is a bruiser. He is always banged up and black and blue. He's definitely a boy!!

School starts after Labor Day. Cash will be starting preschool this year...WOW...Preslee will be in 4th grade, and Kaidan will be a big 2nd grader. They are excited and, I must admit...so am I. It will be nice to get a little bit of routine back in our lives.

Thanks for all the love and support. I'll update again with a party date.

If you are able, please follow this link to buy a ducky to support our family as we try to help the Make a Wish Foundation of Utah grant wishes to kids with life-threatening illnesses.
http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=318740&u=318740-260812356&e=2605314071

Can you help us reach our goal??

2009-08-11T17:33:00.000-06:00

Follow the link below to support our family as we try to help the Make a Wish Foundation of Utah grant wishes to kids with life-threatening illnesses like Kaidan.

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=318740&u=318740-260812356&e=2605314071

For every ducky you sponsor ($5 each) you will be entered to win a NEW CAR!!! It's a great cause. The Foundation granted Kaidan's wish shortly after she was diagnosed with leukemia.

If you are able to help us out in reaching our goal we'd be very appreciative. Thanks!!

FINALLY...

2009-07-23T16:50:00.001-06:00

Kaidan’s chemo went well on Wednesday. Her counts are good, her ANC dropped slightly to 1500, but that is still great for her. She always has stomach issues for a week or so after, but other than that she is doing well. We had a meeting with the management of the Hem/Onc department at PCMC and discussed all the problems we have had. It went very well and I think Nate and I both feel better just knowing that they know. Hopefully things will change a little bit. We did get a new doctor, Dr. Wright. We are really happy about that because she has always been very pro-active. She is the doctor who finally scheduled an MRI for Kaidan’s legs, she is the one who told us about the enzyme testing for Kaidan’s low counts, and she is the one who prescribed the miracle anti-nausea medication when Kaidan was struggling with the tough chemo. This alone should make our last 4 months run more smoothly than the previous 24. Next chemo is Tuesday, August, 18th. This will be Kaidan’s FINAL back poke. Then she’ll have 2 more months of IV chemo and it will be party time!!

We have the party scheduled now (this should be the FINAL date change) for Friday, October 23rd. Please save that date, even if it’s just a few minutes to make a stop in to our party and tell Kaidan hello. I am hoping this will be a great event!!

It is also time for the Ducky Derby for the Utah Make a Wish Foundation. We have set a goal of $1000 again this year. Each duck is $5 and comes with a chance to win a car. Please support us, every $5 donation helps. You can donate by going to the Make a Wish website www.makeawishutah.org and clicking on the Ducky Derby link. Then click support someone you know who is selling duckies and search my name, Mystee Sudbury. We are so thankful for all the support we received last year, please help us out again…$5 and you could win a new car (and have the satisfaction of knowing you are helping to grant wishes)!!

Thanks again…We love you all!! Hopefully I won’t need to update until August 18th. Look for new pictures on our shutterfly website www.thesudburyfamily.shutterfly.com. I’ll be trying to get those up in the near future. I’ve got some cute ones from the last couple of weeks.

good counts and ear tubes...

2009-07-17T15:19:00.001-06:00

I have been lazy in the updating department...sorry.

Kaidan had labs drawn Wednesday and her counts are still great!! Her ANC stayed at 1700. Maybe...just maybe we have found the right dose for her!

We had yet ANOTHER issue up at PCMC. To make a long story short...I went up on Thursday to pick up some of Kaidans meds and I could tell the pills were not her normal pills. It turns out that the pharmacy gave us pills that were 2 times the dose they should have been!! So, we will be having a conference next Wednesday with the management to discuss all of our problems, concerns, thoughts, etc. I hope it goes well.

Porter had tubes put in his ears today. He did great. He was cranky when he woke up (I believe because he was cranky when he fell asleep), and he's still quite sleepy, but he's doing good. I hope this is the answer to his never ending ear infections. (I asked the nurse yesterday if we would get to stay with Porter until he had been put under and was asleep and she said yes, but as it turned out we only got to walk him to the corner and then he went the rest of the way with the anesthesiologist...crying.)

I cannot begin to explain how excited I am to be done up there. I don't know that we could handle much more.

Chemo is next Wednesday, the 22nd. I'll update again after that.

wednesday blood counts...

2009-07-08T23:06:00.001-06:00

Kaidan's blood work looked good again today. Her ANC dropped a little bit more, down to 1700, but that is still great for her. Her hematocrit was 39. I was surprised to see it that high because she's been so tired lately, but I guess we can blame it on the hot weather and late nights.

We are heading to the lake this weekend. We have a family reunion Saturday and we'll spend the rest of the time waterskiing and having a great time in the hot sun.

I was thinking back on the 4th of July 2007. That was the day Kaidan got to come home after being diagnosed. WOW!! Shortly after that we went to the lake with Kaidan puffy from being on steroids and covered in plastic wrap to try and keep her PICC line clean and dry. We didn't get to come home from that trip, instead we had to go to the ER for a fever Kaidan got on the drive home. I can remember the feelings...being a "new cancer mom", scared of just about everything, and having no idea what the future would hold. That is when we learned to live for the moment. I'm so, so grateful that we are here, 2 years later, getting ready to head up to the lake. This time, we won't have to wrap Kaidan in Glad Press and Seal, she'll be able to swim with no worries. She isn't swollen from steroids (but I'm sure she'll still be begging for bacon! That's one side effect that didn't go away when she stopped taking those crappy things.) We can only hope that we will get to come straight home when we are finished having our fun; a weekend with no fevers would be absolutely FABULOUS!!

I'll update again next week.

blood counts and ear tubes...

2009-07-07T14:04:00.001-06:00

Kaidan is doing well. She has been extremely tired the last few days, but I'm hoping it's just from the hot weather and late nights. She hasn't had any more fevers.

I received a call from oncology yesterday and they wanted to know what dose of chemo she was on. They had conflicting information in their notes and they weren't sure what we were doing!! I can't believe the mistakes they make up there. I'm glad that I'm pretty on top of it, otherwise who knows where we'd be. They also wanted to increase her to 50% (they thought she was still at 25%), but I said no. Her counts are dropping, and just because they are still a little higher than they'd like (Kaidan's ANC was 1900, down from 3200, but they want her between 750 and 1500)I don't think we should jump to increasing it with as sensitive as she seems to be with the higher doses. Anyway...we are drawing labs tomorrow and we'll go from there.

Porter is going to be getting tubes in his ears next Friday, the 17th. This should relieve him from his constant ear pain and infections.

We are now planning the "PARTY" to celebrate the end of a very, very long 2 1/2 years on Friday, October 16th. I'll update with more information soon...

popsicles and blood counts...

2009-07-01T23:10:00.000-06:00

First of all...check out this picture!! I absolutely LOVE it!! It was my sister's idea to take it yesterday afternoon when we were all outside eating popsicles. It doesn't get any better than this!!

Secondly...Kaidan's counts are still great, however, they are dropping. Her hematocrit (healthy red blood cells) and platelets (clotting) are great at 36.2 and 315 respectively. Her white blood count was above 4.0, but it's now at 3.4 (still really good for a cancer patient), and her ANC has gone from 3,200 Sunday morning in the ER to 1,900 today!! That is the count we watch the closest. It is Kaidan's immune system. 1,900 is a great number, the doctors want it to be around 1,500. If it gets below 500 she is automatically inpatient if she gets a fever. I'm hoping her counts will stabilize and they will be great again next Wednesday, but this is a very familiar trend and I'm worried that she is going to bottom out because we increased the dose of her chemo...remember, this chemo is a delayed effect drug, so it takes about a week for it to affect her counts. She just started it last week, so next weeks labs will be the true test. I'll keep you posted, in the meantime have a wonderful 4th of July!!

P.S. We are in the beginning stages of planning an "END OF CHEMO PARTY" (I'm trying to think of a different name for it). I want this to be a celebration for Kaidan, for all she's been through (simply amazing that she still smiles), but also for the rest of us. I would like to celebrate the simple fact that we made it, we are still sane (I think), and we are a closer family than we ever have been! I want it to be for Preslee, for the awesome sister she has been. And, last but not least, I want it to be for all of you who have supported us, loved us, and helped us through the hard times!! We couldn't have done it without each of you, so...THANKS!! We have tentatively set it for the 17th of October, but that is the deer hunt I have just learned, so we might be changing it, but for now that is the plan. Put it down on your calendars and I will be giving more info as we plan it.

Second verse, same as the first...

2009-06-28T13:51:00.000-06:00

About 3:00 in the morning I headed up to PCMC with Kaidan. She had another fever, 102.8. We got home around 8:30. Her counts are still great, even a little better than yesterday. I'll update more soon.

Emergency Room and Irish Dance Feis...

2009-06-27T16:36:00.000-06:00

Kaidan danced in her first Irish Feis (pronounced "fesh") today. You would never have known by looking at her that she had been in the ER until 3:00 this morning...

Yes, you read that right. When I was heading to bed I decided to check her temp because she had been a little warmer than usual all day and sure enough...she was over 101. I took her up last night and Nate stayed home with the others. We were there for about 4 hours, so that's not too bad, considering it was the ER. Her counts were still good, so we were able to come home after they gave her IV antbiotics. Her ANC went up a little bit to 2900, and the rest of her counts went down, but they were all still in the normal range. If she gets a fever after 1:00 a.m. we will have to go back....

Kaidan was telling me that she doesn't like going to the hospital, but she does like going to the hospital. She was saying that she enjoys getting some one on one time, and lots of attention from doctors, nurses, visitors, etc. She was being so funny. I was thinking this morning about how it kind of is nice, just because when you go up with her you get to see a different side of Kaidan. She's so mellow (usually) and she has a different sense of humor about her. I'm sure it's just because she's alone and not competing with the others for attention, but in a weird way, it is nice.

The Feis was great. Kaidan had a huge support system, as usual. A big THANK YOU to all of you who were able to make it. She loved every minute of it. Her dance school, Crawford School of Irish Dance, did a "special" for Kaidan, they are donating all the procedes from that dance to us and they made her a beautiful quilt. I don't have the words to say how grateful we are for that. It not only made Kaidan feel incredible, it makes Nate and I feel truly humbled. We are so appreciative, I don't think I could ever come up with the right words to express what it means to us. Not just this, but everything that our family and friends have done for us. We are so thankful.

I'll update again soon...

chemo day!! only 4 left...

2009-06-24T16:13:00.001-06:00

First of all...Sadie Huish is almost finished with her battle. Her hospice nurse told her family today that she has about 48 hours left on Earth and then she will be living forever with Jesus and her Heavenly Father. Please pray for her family. I am so sad, even though I don't know them personally, Nate and his family do. It's heartbreaking. I hope it's okay that I post her website here. If you'd like to visit it, just to know who you are thinking of and praying for.

www.sadiehuish.blogspot.com

While I am silently celebrating how close we are to the finish line, I am also mourning for another family. It's hard being part of the cancer world. I cannot even imagine the emotions they are feeling.

Today at clinic went well. Kaidan's counts are still very high. I am glad, because I think it saved her from the flu that went around, but they are now going to increase her chemo. I'm a little nervous, but we'll be doing blood draws weekly to monitor her. I hope she tolerates it well. It's a catch 22, because I do hate chemo, but I hate cancer more. I want to give her the best chance at full recovery, and it's a little scary to think that she might not be getting enough chemo to do that. Hopefully she'll continue to do well with this new dosage. She was on 25% with 2 chemos, and we are just increasing one of them to about 42%. They'll increase the other one based on her blood counts in the next couple of weeks. We have next months IV chemo, sedation with a lumbar puncture, chemo in the spinal fluid, and IV chemo the next month, and then 2 months of IV chemo. After that she will be done with chemo!! I can't believe it is that close. It's very EXCITING!!

Kaidan did fall yesterday while she was riding her bike. She banged herself up pretty good and really hurt her wrist. It's not broken, but she's in quite a bit of pain. Hopefully it will start to feel better in the next day or two.

Porter has another ear infection (both ears), so he's on an antibiotic to get him through until July 6th when he will see the ENT doctor.

I'll update again soon.

doing good...

2009-06-17T10:06:00.000-06:00

Kaidan is doing great. She hasn't gotten sick. Her only complaints are the stomach issues that seems to go hand in hand with her chemo schedule. PCMC called yesterday and said they had changed their plans and they will now be treating all the kids that are still on chemotherapy that were at Camp Hobe with prophylactic Tamaflu. I'm glad about this, even though I think Kaidan is fine, I would always rather be safe than sorry. So, I have to run up to Primary's to get the prescription today and get her started on it.

Everyone else is okay. Preslee is doing much better. The boys are sick, but they'll survive. I'll update again next week.

P.S. If anyone is interested/willing, you can register on www.marrow.org to be a bone marrow donor. It's free until June 22nd as long as funds are available. It is a commitment, but you could save someones life :)

Kaidan's blood counts are fabulous!!!

2009-06-15T18:40:00.001-06:00

Kaidan's counts are great! Her white count is over 4,000 and her ANC is 2800. We are leaving her chemo at 25% until our clinic appointment next Wednesday. Then we can decide, together with the doctor, if we will increase the dose.

Preslee is feeling much better, today is the first day she has not had a fever. I received a call today from the doctor at Camp Hobe. Several kids that were at camp have tested positive for Influenza A (yes, this is the swine flu from what I've been told). The are recommending that all the cancer kids that were there be treated with Tamiflu as a precaution, but of course, PCMC says NOPE. Why would they take precautions?? They'll just wait until the kids get it and then deal with it. Oh well, so far Kaidan hasn't had any symptoms, and I'm VERY, VERY glad that her ANC is high (emphasis on the VERY). Hopefully, with that GREAT immune system she has had the past couple of weeks she will bypass this round of illness.

I'll keep you posted, but it will most likely be next Wednesday after chemo when I update again.

the girls are home...

2009-06-13T10:08:00.000-06:00

We all went to pick up the girls yesterday from camp, it was exciting. They were very happy to see us, but they had a great time!! I knew they would, but still, I was a little worried...

They had many stories to tell: Kaidan did Irish dances for everyone, she asked a couple of boys if they wanted to dance (and they did), Preslee got an award for being the most organized, they met new friends, the food was weird (hot dogs IN the macaroni), it rained every day, they weren't scared or homesick, Preslee won a poster for answering a turkey call (??), they want to go next year, and so on and so on.

I think it was a great experience for them both. Kaidan looked like a whole new girl when we got there, all grown up. Preslee was watching for us and she ran to us and gave us HUGE hugs, but we had to find Kaidan...what???...I was quite surprised, to say the least.

Preslee caught a cold while she was there, but she seemed okay. Then, she woke up this morning with a fever of 102.4. Let's hope Kaidan doesn't get that. Kaidan is absolutely EXHAUSTED, but otherwise doing great. Cash is good, and Porter has a runny nose and, of course, he's tugging on his ears...poor boy! ( and poor me:) )

I think I'll try to get Kaidan's nurse to come out on Monday to do labs, I'll update again after that.

As always, thank you all so much for your continued support and love. Please add a little girl named Sadie to your thoughts and prayers. Nate grew up with her mom, and he talks to her uncle almost daily because of work. Sadie has an incurable brain tumor and decided several weeks ago to stop the chemotherapy that was slowing it's progression. She is now nearing the end of her battle and our hearts just ache for their entire family...

Camp Hobe (a camp for cancer kids and their siblings)...

2009-06-09T12:26:00.001-06:00

I got the girls off to Camp Hobe yesterday morning...they were nervous, but very excited, especially when they found out they would be sharing a cabin. I thought it was great, because they were most scared about being in different cabins and it was an opportunity for them to realize how much they needed, loved, and WANTED to be with each other. I hope they are having a great time. I do miss them, and it's abnormally boring around here without them, but it should be a great experience for them both.

Kaidan was supposed to have labs drawn tomorrow, but she didn't want to have the nurse do it without me there, so we will wait until next week. I really wanted counts this week, but I worry that if I go out there to be with her she will decide she misses home and won't want to stay.

I'll update again on Friday after everyone is back home.

blood counts 6/3/09...

2009-06-03T22:33:00.001-06:00

Well, Kaidan's counts are still great! I'm hoping this is the right dose...finally! We'll see next week. The blood results from these chemos have a delayed effect, so next weeks results will be more accurate.

Kaidan is doing well. She is really struggling with some stomach issues again and I am now blaming that on the chemo. I've done some research and it can cause gastrointestinal toxicity. Her symptoms were almost gone until we started the chemo up again. Poor girl.

The girls are out of school and so far they are enjoying summer. I have taken a couple weeks off work, so hopefully we can do some fun things together. Next week the girls are going to go to Camp Hobe. It is a camp for cancer kids and their siblings. They are excited and a little nervous, but I think they will both have a great time and it will be good for both of them.

I'll update again next week after we get Kaidan's blood work done.

chemo day...

2009-05-28T23:06:00.001-06:00

Everything went well today. Kaidan's blood counts were really good, her ANC is 2,300, so it has gone up A LOT since last week. We started her back on her oral chemos at 25% and I requested that we get her labs drawn weekly instead of every two weeks. We'll see how this goes, but hopefully it will be okay. Also, Kaidan has gained almost 2 pounds since last month!! I am very excited about that.

Porter has to get tubes put in his ears in the next week or so. He has another ear infection. :(

I'll update again soon. Thank you for all the positive thoughts and prayers.

today's blood counts...

2009-05-21T17:11:00.000-06:00

Kaidan's ANC is only 100 today. We cannot start her chemo back up and if she gets a fever she will have to be inpatient. This isn't what I was hoping for because her temp is still a little higher than normal. Right now it's at 99.5. I'm hoping we can make it through this holiday weekend without an ER visit!

Kaidan did go to school today, but she came home around 11 with stomach pain. She is just resting now.

Chemo is on Thursday of next week. It was Wednesday, but we changed it so Nate could come too. I really want to get some answers about Kaidan's counts. I'm worried that the chemo has done more damage to her bone marrow than they are telling us about.

I'll update again next week after chemo, unless anything changes before then.

no fevers!!!

2009-05-19T17:47:00.000-06:00

So, Kaidan's temperature has just been hanging out between 99.3 and 99.8. I wouldn't even worry about it, but her counts were so low on Thursday. Her normal temp is usually between 96.9 and 97.5 or so, so even to be at 98.7 is warm for her.

I did call the clinic today and spoke with a nurse practitioner. After she called Kaidan a boy and I corrected her, she was really light hearted about it and laughing. I told her that I didn't know why she was laughing because I don't find it funny. I expect them to know that she is a girl...seriously, we've been going up there for almost 2 years now!! She tried to tell me all she had was a phone note in front of her, and it didn't have any info besides my name and Kaidan's name. I said, "So you don't have Kaidan's chart right there?" She told me she did have her chart and she was sorry. Maybe I over-reacted, but that is one thing that both Nate and I have disliked about Primary's. How can we feel like she is getting the best care possible if they don't even take the time to see who they are talking about. The should know she's a girl...PERIOD!! We wouldn't tolerate a doctor treating us that way, so why is it okay for them to treat our child that way?...IT'S NOT!!

Anyway, she said not to worry about the temp unless it gets higher or she starts feeling sick. I asked if we could have her counts drawn tomorrow instead of Thursday, just to make sure they are heading up, but she said no. She said it's better to just wait the extra day and let them get higher...so, whatever. I guess we'll wait until Thursday.

I'll update again after counts. Thanks for all the love and support and for listening to me complain.

home from school today...

2009-05-18T10:01:00.000-06:00

Kaidan is home from school today. Last night she had a low temperature (99.7) and this morning it was 99.3. I don't feel good about sending her to school when I need to watch her temp. She feels okay...at least that is what she says. Her eyes sometimes tell a different story. Right now she's just sitting on the couch playing her DS. I've noticed lately that Kaidan has dark circles around her eyes, they seem to be getting worse. I don't know if she is having trouble sleeping or what. She has been really restless the past couple of nights, so hopefully that is all that it is.

We stopped chemo last Thursday, and she will have her blood counts checked again this Thursday. 50% chemo is not working for her, so we'll have to try 25% or possibly cut one of the meds that she takes. I have to talk to the doctor about that.

Preslee is home today also, she hurt her knee yesterday and is having trouble walking. (I'm thinking she just needs a little extra attention, so I've been giving that to her and hopefully tomorrow she'll be back in action.)

I'll update again on Thursday unless the fever becomes an issue.

this weeks blood counts...

2009-05-14T14:10:00.001-06:00

First of all, Kaidan is doing well. She has been having some issues lately with being tired and in a little more pain than normal, but she is doing okay. She has been going to school and feeling well for the most part.

Secondly, I got her blood results back and her ANC is back down to 300. Her other counts are okay, but that darn ANC is what keeps her from getting sick or from being admitted if she gets a fever. I haven't talked to the doctor yet, so I don't know what the plan is for her chemo. She's only on 50% right now and obviously her body can't handle that amount, so we'll see what they say.

I'll update again when I know what we will be doing.

swine flu vs. childhood cancer...

2009-05-06T21:03:00.000-06:00

I copied this from another carepage. I thought it was very interesting...
**************************************************************************I sat down to blog about the swine flu in contrast to the childhood cancer crisis and found this and thought it was beautifully articulated and statistically solid.
The Swine Flu: A Crisis? You Decide!!!
It's all over the news. The Swine Flu has entered the U.S., and everyone is responding quickly. Here is what has happened already:
--Over 100 schools have closed.
--President Obama called on all schools with possible swine flu cases to "strongly consider temporarily closing."
--Congress approved $1.5 billion in emergency funds.
--Education Secretary Arne Duncan said that everyone involved in schools needs to "pitch in and do our part to prevent the spread of this flu virus."
--The Department of Education and the CDC have held conferences to give updates and advice for handling the crisis.
--WHO Director-General Margaret Chan has raised the alert level to phase 4.
--Shipments of the drug Tamiflu from the federal stockpile, enough to treat 11 million patients, have been distributed to several states.
--Dr. Jesse Goodman, of the Food and Drug Administration's swine flu work said,"We'reworking together at 100 miles an hour."
--Congress has asked Homeland to consider closing the Mexican border.
Here are the numbers: There have been 84 documented cases in the U.S. There has been one death, a two year old boy with underlying health issues.
Updates on the Swine Flu epidemic are all over the papers, T.V., Internet, and radio. You can't avoid it.
This is a crisis and deserves a fast response. Sick children, and the death of even one child, is a great loss. But I am a little confussed. I would like to point out some comparisons.
1) Since the outbreak in the U.S., there have been 84 cases of swine flu, and one death. Compare that to the fact that 12,600 families are told their child has cancer each year. That is 35 families every single day of the year.
2) The media tells us that the 84 cases and one death from the swine flu is a "crisis" and "epidemic". But do a google search on childhood cancer, and you will find the media consistently to childhood cancer, with 40,000 current cases and 2,500 annual deaths, as "very rare".
3) To protect yourself against the swine flu, you should wash hands, not touch your nose, and cover your mouth. You can even wear gloves and a mask. But there is no protection against childhood cancers. In fact, the cause of most childhood cancers is still unknown.
4) The swine flu produces severe flu symptoms. The effects of cancer are beyond description. So just consider this: Cancer is part of the body, so the treatment is a process of poisoning the child to the brink of death, then pulling back hoping they stabilize, then hitting them again. Over and over and over. Maybe a year, maybe 7 years. The resulting organ failures often cause more complications and deaths than the cancer itself. And then you wait and pray that it all worked. "Remission" only means they think they got. "Relapse" means they were wrong.
5) The government has opened up it's stockpile of flu drugs to fight the crisis. But there is no stockpile of cancer drugs. In fact, it has been 30 years since a new pediatric cancer drug has been developed. A 5 year study by the National Institute of Health concluded that new drugs for pediatric and adolescent cancers are not being developed because the profit margins are too slim. Therefore mega-doses of adult chemotherapy are administered to children, using a medical assembly line system called protocols. The great need for individualized care is ignored because it is not economically sustainable.
6) Congress has approved $1.5 billion in ADDITIONAL funding to fight the swine flu. With 84 infected people, that is $18 million per person. Childhood cancer received a TOTAL of $30 million over a 5 year period. That works out to $750 for each child currently fighting cancer.
So does any of this scare you more than the swine flu? It should. The emergency response to the swine flu had be great. But where is the emergency plan for childhood cancer? And where is the media attention? There is none.
Some might say these are not a fair comparisons. Well, in one way they would be correct. The $1.5 billion for the flu has been paid. The $30 million for childhood cancer was approved by the federal goverment as the Carolyn Walker Pryce Childhood Cancer Act, but has never been funded. Other issues of greater crisis keep taking priority, such as $120 million to distribute free condoms in 3rd world countries (Yes, really. It's in the stimulus package).
Some might still say my comparisons are still unfair, that I am not comparing apples to apples. But, just for the record, the U.S. apple growers got $170 million in the stimulas package.
Honestly, I am not criticizing the response to the Swine Flu. It is an appropriateresponse. I just do not understand why our children with cancer deserve less.
Please remember:
1 in 300 children will be diagnosed with cancer before the age of 20.
12,600 children are diagnosed each year.
3,000 will die of cancer each year.
Cancer is the #1 disease killer of children ages 1-19.
The cause of most childhood cancers is still unknown.
Only 3% of cancer research money goes toward childhood cancers.
There are currently 30,000-40,000 children fighting cancer in the U.S.
The number of children diagnosed with cancer has increased every year for the past 25 years.
Teenagers and young adults (ages 15-22) are the only age group that have flat or declining survival rates from cancer.
In the past 35 years ONLY ONE new cancer drug has been approved for pediatric use.
Since children can handle much more chemo than adults, most treatments are little more than mega doses of adult cancer chemotherapy treatments. The result of these high doses of chemo on children is a higher rate of secondary cancers.
For reasons not fully known, teenagers experience the highest rate of secondary cancers as a result of the high dose chemotherapy treatments.
Teenagers have the highest cancer fatality rate of any age group under 80. Their cancers tend to be much more rare, therefore lacking established treatments. Their cancers also tend to be far more advanced when diagnosed.
A 5-year study at Children's Hospital Pittsburgh of UPMC recently concluded that teenage cancer survivorship is lower due in part to a lack of access to clinical trials. They concluded: "Patients who are enrolled in clinical trials offering the most advanced cancer treatments do better than patients who receive conventional treatment. Adolescents and young adults with cancer are less likely than younger children to be enrolled in clinical trials."
I copied this entry off of the PAC2 Website www.curechildhoodcancer.ning.com
**************************************************************************
I don't know about you, but I could not believe these statistics. It's unreal and unfair!
If you haven't already signed the cancer awareness petition, please do.
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/CureChildhoodCancer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everyone is doing well around here...it's nice! I'll update next Thursday after Kaidan has her blood drawn.

test results look great...

2009-05-04T10:49:00.000-06:00

The doctor just called with all of Kaidan's results. Her bone marrowlooks good. It showed that her bone marrow is making red cells, white cells, and platelets....it also showed that there were NO CANCER CELLS!!! Her metabolizing test came back as well, and it looked normal. She is not having trouble with the absorbtion of her chemo. That is good as well, except that we are still left wondering why her counts are having such a hard time recovering. Anyway...the doctor feels good about all of these results and thinks that most likely she has just continued to get viruses that are affecting her counts and her ability to bounce back is hindered because of the chemo. He wants to get her back up to 100% chemo as soon as possible, so we'll see what her blood shows next Wednesday when the nurse comes out to draw labs.

Kaidan is home from school again today. She had a scratchy throat this morning and she was very, very tired. I'm hoping it's just allergies because her throat looked fine and she seems to be doing better now after resting all morning.

I'll update again if anything changes, but hopefully you won't hear from us until next Wednesday. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers as we waited for all of these tests. We are truly humbled and grateful that we have receieved so much love and support. Thank you!

May 1, 2009

2009-05-01T23:28:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get an update with a little more info in it. I have been busy and I think the stress of waiting for results was getting to me.

Anyway, things are going well around here. The doctor on Wednesday said that he doesn't think the metabolizing test will show that Kaidan is having trouble. Usually, I guess, we would have seen her counts struggling from the very beginning, and she started this chemo in April 2008 and we didn't have problems until November 2008. So, he feels like it's unlikely that test will come back positive. We should get those results next week sometime.

Of course, we are thrilled that the preliminary results for relapse are negative! We have been walking on pins and needles since Wednesday waiting for the results. I will be extra thrilled when we get the final test back and it's negative as well! I'm hoping by Monday I will have those results.

Kaidan isn't doing great, but she is okay. She hasn't had too much energy, and when she does get a little burst she plays hard and then crashes hard for the rest of the day. She hasn't been to school for 2 weeks. She is having a lot of aches and pains in her back, head, and stomach. She manages to get through each day with a smile (usually she's smiling, but she has been extra cranky lately) so all we can do is hope that this will pass. We did start her chemo back up at 50% yesterday, so we will check her blood again in 2 weeks and see how she does. Hopefully her counts stay good, since at this point we don't have any explanation as to why they aren't recovering.

That sums it up I think. I will update as soon as I get anymore test information, otherwise you can consider no news as good news. :)

no evidence of relapse...

2009-05-01T15:04:00.000-06:00

We have the preliminary results back and there is NO EVIDENCE OF RELAPSE!!! I will update again later with more details...

no news yet...

2009-04-30T11:42:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to update and let you know that I called clinic and they said the results were not back yet and they will call me as soon as they are back. They said to call back tomorrow afternoon if I hadn't heard from them yet. So, I just wanted to let everyone know not to worry if I don't update again until tomorrow. Also, when I have more time, I will update more about our clinic appointment yesterday. Kaidan hasn't been feeling well, and neither have I, so I haven't felt much like writing a lot. Sorry...

I'll update again as soon as I know anything.

clinic day...

2009-04-29T20:28:00.001-06:00

Today went well. Kaidan had a bone marrow aspirate done and they also did her spinal with chemo so that she won't have to be sedated next month. I'm not exactly sure how that works, but I'm glad that she won't need to be sedated next month. It always makes for a long, long day when we have to do sedation.

Her counts were good today. White blood cells were 3.0, ANC 1100, hematocrit 36.1, and platelets 270.

We will get the bone marrow results tomorrow, so I'll update again after that. Her blood counts look good, so that is a good sign. We just need to figure out why her counts won't stabilize. I'm not sure when the metabolizing test will be back, it may still take until next week. I'll update when we get that back as well.

Overall, today went well. Kaidan is really tired, but that is just from being sedated. She isn't in any pain from the bone marrow, so that is good.

I'll update again tomorrow. Thanks for all the support.

Monday's blood counts...

2009-04-27T11:23:00.001-06:00

Kaidan's counts were good this morning. Her hematocrit and platelets have gone up a bit, which is a big relief. Her white count and her ANC have dropped again, however, so we will still be doing the bone marrow biopsy on Wednesday. The biopsy will look for leukemia cells as well as just look to see if her marrow is working properly in making new blood cells.

Kaidan says she is feeling okay, although she didn't want to go to school, so I don't think she is feeling great. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

I'll update again on Wednesday after we are done up at the hospital.

home sweet home...

2009-04-24T20:46:00.001-06:00

We are home tonight, together at last. It's nice. Kaidan's counts went up again. Her white blood cells are 3.0, her ANC is 700. Her hematocrit went down to 31.9 and her platelets went down to 155.

We are scheduled for a blood draw on Monday and chemo on Wednesday. We will also be doing a bone marrow biopsy on Wednesday, so Kaidan will have sedation that day. The other test they are running will take a couple of weeks because they can't just check the level of the chemo in her blood because she hasn't been taking the chemo regularly for so long, due to her constant fevers and low ANC. So they are looking at Kaidan's genetics and certain enzymes in her body, etc. I still want to do the bone marrow though, if only for our own reassurance. Also, Kaidan will not be taking anymore oral chemo until we get the results of all these tests.

Thank you to everyone who came to visit Kaidan at the hospital...she loved it. Also to everyone who kept us in their thoughts and prayers. We are truly grateful. I'll update again on Monday after I get labs back.

one more day...at least...

2009-04-23T10:08:00.000-06:00

Kaidan had a fever last night, so we are not going home today. Her blood counts did go up a little. Her ANC is 400 today. Her white count almost tripled from 0.8 to 2.2, so we'll see what happens with that tomorrow. The test for checking how the chemo metabolizes takes awhile to get back, so it might be next week before we know about that. We also have a bone marrow biopsy scheduled for next Wednesday to check for....I won't even say the word....again, the weird, queasy feeling in my chest.

I think we will go home tomorrow, depending on fevers. Right now she is at 99.9, so we'll see...

Thank you all so much for the messages of support, phone calls and visits to Kaidan, and the thoughts and prayers. We are always humbled by the support we receive. Thank you.

long post...sorry...

2009-04-22T13:45:00.000-06:00

This is a REALLY LONG post...I'm sorry.

Okay, I have seen the doctor and we have a plan...

If Kaidan doesn't get any more fevers we will be going home tomorrow morning. Right now she is back in the 99.3-99.5 range, so we'll see what happens.

I voiced my concerns about her counts having a hard time recovering and so they are going to run a test to see how her body breaks down the oral chemo that she gets. I had never heard of this test before, and I'm a little frustrated that it hasn't been done sooner. She is going to check with Kaidan's primary doctor to make sure he hasn't run the test in the past, but since I've never heard of it I'm assuming he hasn't. (I know, I know...to ASSUME is to make an ASS out of U and ME :)) I told her I doubted he had, but she said he could have done it and just not told me...unlikely, but maybe I'm too critical...we'll see. She will let me know tomorrow if he has done it or not and we will go from there. She said only about 1 in 200 kids have a problem breaking down the chemo. They break it down much slower than normal, so the dose for their weight is actually way too much for their system. At least if Kaidan has this, we could adjust accordingly.

The other concern I have had is the rapid decline of Kaidan's platelets since Friday. She suggested that maybe we should do a bone marrow biopsy to rule out relapse. She does NOT think that is what it is, but we will see what Kaidan's platelet count is tomorrow and decide from there. Just typing that makes me have a feeling in my chest that I can't even describe. It just makes me sick, even though I know it is VERY unlikely. I would rather be safe.

So, that is the plan from a medical stand point. I have been pleased with our stay up here because we have the same resident we had last week (the only resident I have ever really liked) and the doctor on the floor is one of my favorites.

As I was typing this, the nurse came in to do the test to see how Kaidan metabolizes the chemo...interesting...I knew it had never been done before. It is things like this that are so frustrating. How can we feel like she is getting the BEST care possible when things are overlooked for so long. I have been questioning the doctors as to why her counts have such a hard time stabilizing for several months. There is just no reason why this test shouldn't have been done a long time ago. I hope that it shows something so that we can get her dosage right and figure things out.

Okay...enough of the medical stuff. I have a couple of stories that I want to tell you about. First of all, yesterday was a hard day for me (as if you couldn't tell). For the first time ever, Cash was really upset about us being at the hospital. He was BEGGING me to come home with him and then he asked Nate the whole way home why Kaidan and Mom couldn't come home. That was really hard for me. No one should have to go through this...not the child with the illness, and not their siblings! It was tough, I just felt so bad that we couldn't all be together. Having the boys up here today has actually been okay. Everyone is behaving and we are together (Nate is at work and Pres is at school). It's almost like being at home...not really :) Anyway, it is going better than I thought it would. In fact, my sister was going to come get the boys, but Porter was sleeping and Cash was watching a movie, so I told her they were fine. They are still being really good and they have been here for 4 hours!

Many of you know that Kaidan was always our "wild child". Well, that hasn't changed at all. She is still as fiesty and spunky as ever. I often have a really hard time with her because she can be so sassy. We butt heads a lot, but when we are at the hospital or when Kaid is really sick, it's a totally different story...usually. We do have our little arguments sometimes, but she becomes the biggest sweetheart ever. Kaidan has always been a tease, but she also has the BIGGEST heart and when she hurts someones feelings or sees someone sad, it breaks her heart. She is really an AMAZING little girl. But on to the story...about 4:00 this morning she needed to use the bathroom so she woke me up. The whole time we were in there she was telling me how sorry she was for waking me up, I felt so bad that she was so worried about it. I kept telling her that it was not a big deal at all, but she felt bad anyway. I just thought it was so nice that she had such worry for me when she's the one in the hospital. Then, when we climbed back into bed she told me she loves me. She tells me that all the time, but this time was different. It had such meaning behind it. A lot of times we say those words without much feeling behind them, it is more of a habit, but I could just tell how genuine she was being. It felt great to have that small moment with her. Then, to my surprise, this morning she asked me if I was hungry and wanted to go downstairs to get some breakfast. This was unusual because she does not like to be left alone in her room. It just shows me how brave she is trying to be. I'm very proud of her.

The last thing I wanted to write about is from another carepage that I read. This mom had been told that her child had only a 25% chance that he wouldn't relapse, 75% that he would. She used the weather as a metaphor. How would you prepare for a day outside if the weatherman said there was a 75% chance of a huge storm? What would you wear knowing that there is a 25% chance it will be completely sunny and the most beautiful day ever? It's just something to think about. It's hard to understand what we worry about on a daily basis unless you are going through the same thing. Of course, we are blessed that our odds are much better than that. We were given 60-70% success rates. Based on Kaidan's high white count at diagnosis and the fact that it was T-cell leukemia, she was put into the high-risk category. So, when you think about that, it makes you look at things a little differently. Right now, it's a beautiful, sunny day. I'm wondering how to dress because the weather man says there is 30-40% chance that the biggest storm we've ever seen is going to come through. But, like I said, right now is beautiful and there is 60-70% chance it will stay that way. What would you do...I think I'll at least take a jacket and an umbrella.

quick update for wednesday

2009-04-22T09:51:00.000-06:00

I'm going to do a longer update later, but I wanted to give a quick status on Kaidan. She is doing well, no fevers since around 6:00 last night, but we will be here at least until tomorrow.

Her counts have all dropped. I said her hematocrit was 32 yesterday, but it was actually 34.5, today it is 31.3. Her platelets have dropped again to 161, white blood cells have dropped to 0.8, and ANC has dropped to 100.

I have the boys up here with me this morning and so far it is working out well. I have a lot of offers for help today, so I will be good as far as that goes. Thanks to everyone!
I'll update again later this afternoon after I see the doctor.

I should've known better...

2009-04-21T22:21:00.001-06:00

I should've known better than to think I wouldn't be updating again until next Wednesday. We are at the hospital again...INPATIENT. Kaidan's temp was hanging out around 100 all day, never going over "the mark" of 100.3, but none the less, a temp for Kaidan. Around 3:00 it started to rise, and by 5:00 it was 101.7, so here we are!

I called the clinic and they tried to send us to the E.R., but I told them NO! I knew we would be admitted, because Kaidan's ANC was below 500 yesterday, so I didn't see any reason we needed to sit in the E.R. for 6 hours just to be moved up to the 4th floor. So, after a little persuasion they got us a room and just direct admitted us. Sure enough, Kaidan's counts have dropped even lower than yesterday. White blood count down from 1.8 to 1.0, hematocrit down from 38.5 to 32, platelets down from 299 to 204, ANC down from 300 to 200. Keep in mind that this is without any chemo for over a week. We need to find out what is causing these fevers and why her counts are having such a hard time recovering.

I'm feeling a little picked on and a lot stressed out! Nate's work isn't being as kind as they have been in the past. I feel like people sometimes forget that Kaidan still has cancer! Just because we started down this road almost 2 years ago, she still has cancer. Things aren't as rough as they were in the beginning, but she still has cancer. We are still doing treatment, and we are still walking on pins and needles every time we wait for test results. It will be that way for the rest of our lives. I feel blessed that we have a wonderful family and a huge support group, but it is so hard to not have one of us with the kids. We have worked really hard to keep me home as much as possible, and the boys are always with Nate or me. It's hard for others to understand how tough it is for the other kids when we are up at the hospital. For us to send them from place to place and leave them with people they aren't with that often only makes it more difficult. They feel left out and neglected. There is no way I could ever say that this experience hasn't had as big of an impact on all of them as it has on Kaidan. It is SO, SO hard for everyone.

Anyway, enough of my belly aching. I'm just feeling some uncomfortable feelings lately. You know, the camels back can only hold so much straw...

Until tomorrow...

Monday blood counts...

2009-04-20T15:52:00.001-06:00

Kaidan had labs again today...not really any change. Hematocrit is 38.5, platelets 299, white blood count 1.8, and ANC 300. I had a big scare this morning because when Kaidan brushed her teeth her gums started bleeding like crazy. I know this isn't a big deal to anyone, but for a cancer patient it's HUGE. Bleeding gums is a sign of low platelets and I knew if Kaidan's platelets were 399 Friday they should not be low today. That would be a bad sign. So, it was nerve racking waiting for labs to come back, but I was very, VERY relieved to see that her platelets are still in the normal range, even though they have dropped. She must have something irritating her gums, so I have had her using an antiseptic mouthwash to see if it helps. Her gums have never bled before, so it scared her...she's okay now though.

I had the nurse leave her port accessed because her temperature has been between 99.2 and 99.6 all day, Kaidan's baseline temp is 96.9-97.5. I figured if we took it out she'd get a fever, but if we leave it in she won't. :) Isn't that the way it always goes?

She's doing okay, I don't think she feels fabulous, but she'd never say otherwise. She stayed home from school, so that says a lot. Anyway, they are keeping her off chemo until her clinic appointment next Wednesday, so we'll see what her blood is doing then.

I'll update next Wednesday unless something changes before then. Thanks for all the love and support. It means everything to us.

Friday labs

2009-04-17T23:32:00.001-06:00

Kaidan had labs done today and they look good. Her hematocrit is38.4, platelets are 399, white blood count is 1.8 and her ANC isonly 300. So...she is still at HIGH risk for infection and illness,until that ANC goes up at least above 500, it would be even betterif we could get it back above 1,500. They won't start her chemosback up until it is higher than 750.

I'll update again Monday afterher next labs.

going home...

2009-04-15T10:14:00.001-06:00

We are headed home! We are waiting to see the "real" doctor, instead of the resident for final permission, and then we'll haveto wait for discharge papers, so we will go home today, but it could be awhile still. Probably this afternoon sometime. Kaidan's blood counts are going up, her ANC is 100. So, she is still neutropenic and if she gets another fever we'll be right back up here, but hopefully that won't happen.

We have stopped Kaidan's oral chemos and she will have blood draws every Monday until next clinic on the 29th.

I'm going to keep a log of her stomach pain and we'll decide what to do about it based on what those logs look like. I had a long talk with the resident today (the first resident I think I've ever actually enjoyed talking to) and I feel much, much better about holding off on any further testing. If all doctors would just spend a little extra time explaining and LISTENING the world would be a better place! The resident this morning did that, and I feel a lot better about things.

I'll update if anything changes or on Monday after her blood draw...whichever comes first!

update 2 for 4/14...

2009-04-14T12:10:00.000-06:00

We aren't going home today. I'm glad, only because with her counts at 0 and our "GREAT" luck, she'd end up with a fever at midnight and we'd be right back up here. So we'll be here at least until tomorrow.

As far as the abdominal stuff, they said they wanted to try a stool softener for a few weeks to see if that helps. I guess the x-rays didn't show anything. I won't do the stool softener though, because the problem we are having is that Kaidan has diarrea on average 3-4 days a week already. DON'T THEY LISTEN?? That is 1/2 the problem. So, I think the next step should be ultrasound or a scope. I don't know...maybe i'm worried for nothing. I think I'm just going to start keeping a log to show the doctors and then we'll go from there.

In other news, Porter still has an infection in his right ear...this has been going on since January...so we have him on one more antibiotic and then we'll deal with the tubes in a few weeks if necessary.

I'll update again tomorrow.

the waiting game....(update 1 from 4/14)...

2009-04-14T10:21:00.000-06:00

We're just waiting for the doctor. I don't know if they will send us home or not. Kaidan is doing well, she hasn't had a fever since we got here, but her counts have all dropped today.

YESTERDAY, TODAY, NORMAL
white blood 1.5, 1.3, 5.0-14.5
hematocrit 36.2, 32.3, 35.0-45.0
platelets 365, 305, 150-400
ANC 0.2, 0.0, 1.5-8.0

The blood cultures haven't grown any bacteria. Rounds started at 9:00, so they should be coming around soon.

They did several x-rays yesterday on Kaidan's abdomen yesterday to see if they could find out anything with her stomach aches. I haven't talked to the doctor about them yet either, so we'll see if they show anything. Of course, since we've been here, she hasn't had any problems and she's eating great. Isn't that the way it goes?

I know Kaidan looks good and she feels pretty good too, but we do have to remember that her little body has taken a beating these past 21 months and she is very fragile. I would always rather be extra cautious and safe. Sometimes I feel the doctors look at her and because she looks so good they discount the symptoms I am telling them she has. It's very frustrating. I just have something in the back of my mind that tells me we really need to watch her close and this stuff going on with her stomach isn't normal, even though it comes and goes. We'll see...

Yesterday, Nate and his mom and the kids came up and hid the goodies from the Easter hunt around Kaidan's room. She was really excited to get her own little Easter hunt here. I'll try to post some pictures today.

I will update as soon as I know more.

INPATIENT...ANC 200...

2009-04-13T18:15:00.001-06:00

First of all, please vote daily for our Utah Make a Wish
Foundation:
http://www.bettycrocker.com/StirringUpWishes/Default.aspx

And...on to today. Kaidan woke up with a headache and a low fever. I called clinic and, of course, they needed me to bring her in. We came up and her ANC is 200, so here we are, INPATIENT!! Kaidan is not happy about this because we had an Easter party at Nate's mom's house tonight and she is very sad that she's missing it. We will be here for at least a day or two. I'll update tomorrow morning after I talk to the doctors because I don't really know what the criteria will be for her to go home (you know, consistency has never been their strong suit). Since we've been here she hasn't had a fever, but that's how it goes. I also told the doctors that I want them to look into her constant stomach problems. We're here anyway, so now is as good a time as any to do further testing. I just want to make sure it's nothing, on and off stomach pain and diarrea is what got us into this whole cancer mess in the first place. The doctors don't like to listen to me (things are always better if it was their idea), but I'd rather run the tests and be safe. So, we have started with X-rays and we'll go from there.

I'll update again tomorrow morning. I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.

Happy Easter...

2009-04-11T11:37:00.000-06:00

First of all, please vote daily for our Utah Make a Wish Foundation:
http://www.bettycrocker.com/StirringUpWishes/Default.aspx

Secondly, I have posted new pictures of Porter’s 1st birthday at our family picture site:
http://www.thesudburyfamily.shutterfly.com

Last, but not least, an update on how we are doing:
I’ll start with Kaidan. She’s doing well other than a constant stomach ache. I’m not sure what the cause is, but I’m hoping it will get better soon.

Preslee is doing great. Porter is doing well, he still has a runny nose, but he’s good.

Cash is doing well, so I thought. He complains of a stomach ache almost daily (usually several times a day). I have just chalked it up to him feeling like he needs to use the potty (which, by the way, he is doing AWESOME!). Anyway, this morning was no different. Cash told me several times that his tummy hurt and I responded by asking him if he needed to poop? Nope. So I told him to go lay down on the couch and it would feel better. Apparently, go lay on the couch sounds a lot like go throw up all over the kitchen floor! Yep, that’s what he did. He puked EVERYWHERE! Granted, this is part of life with kids, right? I understand that, but can someone please cut me some slack??!!?? Today was not the day for this! Nate is gone turkey hunting with my dad, my sisters are in Moab, my mom was at work, and I was supposed to be to work in 20 minutes (the kids were going with me). We were just getting ready to walk out the door and now Cash is covered in puke, so is my kitchen, and of course, so were my pants (he continued throwing up all the way to the bathroom). He’s doing much better now, but I have no idea what is wrong with him. He keeps getting these strange fevers every few days and the constant stomach pains. AAAAAAHHHHH!!

So, that’s a day in my life! I haven’t worked for almost a month because of everyone being sick. I’m hoping after Easter life can get back to normal…yeah right!

I want to wish everyone a wonderful Easter from the Sudbury’s!

Please support the Make a Wish Foundation of Utah...

2009-04-08T13:04:00.000-06:00

Everyone is okay around here. Not great, but okay. Kaidan is at school, but she's struggling with some stomach issues the past day or two. Porter and Preslee are well, and Cash has been running a fever with a cough and runny nose for the past two days.

Please vote daily for our Utah chapter of Make a Wish. They need your support!! Thanks!!

http://www.bettycrocker.com/StirringUpWishes/Default.aspx